HELLO~~~FOLKS!!!!!!!!

There are perfectly sound reasons for my absence people.
And although I sincerely apologise,

for I know my absence means the missing of an integral part of ur life,

I wasn't totally at fault

*pouts charmingly*

U see,

firstly, I had crazily screwed up papers that I'd rather not talk about.

Then, on 23 rd, a day after my exams

I just absolutely got to get out.

I mean, how can I decline a boogie-booze date with my babes?

And!!Whoever says that teachers are boring old hags must be living in the last century.

The teachers I saw that night are nose-bleedingly hawt (like the one bottom pic, right)!!

Tell me again,

wld it be right to turn down that date to be stuck in front of the computer screen?

I THINK NOT!!!!!!

And then!!

U wld never haf guessed wat happened after.

On my way back home,

I was attacked.

I didn't know wat happened,

suddenly two pairs of incredibly hairy hands grabbed me from the back and the next thing I knew I was being stuffed into an "ah-tiong" Mickey Mouse bag.

Make no mistake,

that was poor poor me.

A.B.D.U.C.T.I.O.N

I slept for god-knows-how-long in the dark.

Through my hazy memory,

I distantly remembered being carried and tossed

and I think I was shuffled up a plane,

but I wasn't entirely sure?

And this was wat I saw when I finally opened my eyes.

It confirmed my suspicion....

I WAS IN BANGKOK!!!!

1st thing I did,

when my captors fell asleep,

I found a public ph and tried to escape.

But I was so excited at having the chance to use one,

I chatted too long,
and I was hauled back by the evil captors...

To be absolutely honest,

I wasn't exactly mistreated.

My captors made sure i was fed.

And then they took me ard Bangkok

lookin for potential buyers.

We took the sky train and MRT....

as they were tryin to cut down on transaction costs.

As they threatened to gag my mouth with octopus if I refused to cooperate,

I had to save myself by acting as if we were tourists.

For the next few days I lived in utter terror,

fearing the day they wld find me a buyer.

Crazy thoughts ran through my mind.

Will I be sold to a tacky shoe shop as a sales slave that sells nice shoes that last only for today,

and not tomorrow?

Will I be put on on sale at chatuchak as an exotic s'pore specimen?

Will I be bought by an evil syndicate who specialises in streetside entertainment,

and spend the rest of my life as a beautiful songstress belting out songs after songs imbued with the tender notes of despair and loneliness so strong it brings tears to the eyes of others?

Wat abt at the MBK?

Will I be condemned to eternity as a window display for avid shoppers?

Or will I be *gasp*

left to die on the street had I not been bought at the end of 4 days??

I was driving myself sick with worry,

and thankfully,

on the last day,

my saviour appeared.

TA~DA!!

She's the low-profile,

or in chinese "di(1)-diao(4)" da jie da of the gang who abducted me.

After listenin to the sorry story that is my life,

of how heaven played a nasty trick on me by having UOL screw up my soci paper,

she was moved to tears.

And then the most amazing thing happened,

she instructed her men to pack the damn thugs up as a gift for me.

And lo and behold!

She even threw in 3 bottles of alcohol to show her sincerity!

I was stunned!

She told me that I cld haf them as a "jian(4) mian(4) li(3)"

and that althoh slavery is no longer legal,

she has a special license that wld allow her the power to engage in slave trade.

Amazing!!!

Thank u da jie da!!

"Don't mention," said da jie da in that very cool way of hers

And so,

here I am!!

Finally back in singapore,

with an interesting, out of this world adventure to share on my blog.

And of cos, not forgetting,

My gifts from da jie da

Now take a wild guess who are in the ah-tiong mickey mouse bag now.....

Hiak hiak hiak~~~