After messing with the zohan last tuesday,
I dragged the homo-dragon-boater to goodwood park with me
in search of the famous durian cake.

Unfortunately,
as soon as we conquered the confusing maze
leading up to the ever more confusing entrance,
and found a fellow human being to ask for directions
to that treasure that I was so determined to own,

"Next time, come before 9."

&**&^&^$&^()*&%$#

So while I was inwardly cursing about my ill-fate,
the homo dragon-boater was going on and on about the updates in his life.
I was so lost.

Well, firstly,
there were so many girls that he was telling me about,
and secondly,
that dumbdumb refused to tell me their names so that I can better tell them apart.

"It's because I like to keep my life compartmentalised" he tells me.

By compartmentalising,
it means keeping different parts of his life segregated in their safe little zones.
It means no possibility of me getting acquainted with
or finding out more of what the other people are really like.

It means sharing updates,
like stories,
with nameless,
faceless characters.

So we identify with situations
but not persons.
So we remain neutral,
or,
according to him,
even if I don't remain neutral,
I'll probably be on his side.

It keeps him safe.
It lets him keep the power to control the impressions that he creates.

Lately, two of my girlfriends ended their respective relationships.
It really says alot about the theory.

Button's relationship ended even before we had adjusted to her being attached.
And contrary to the guy's jubilant announcement of the news of their being together,
and wanting to introduce her to everyone and anyone,
buttons kept her status hush hush,
her life still in their organised files,
and him,
away from the other parts of her life.

When it all ended,
her life remained intact,
and relatively unaffected.
I can't say the same for him though.

Lemonade on the other hand trusted the relationship enough
to remove all the dividers and throw her boyfriend into the blending machine,
together with the other parts of her life.
And when he decided that he wanted more than
just staying in the embrace of her love,
he just walked away,
leaving everyone else to pick up what's left of the destruction he's caused
without a backward glance.

As boundaries are blurred and removed,
we are inevitably thrown into the realm of vulnerability.
Of course,
everyone would want their loved ones to know of one another.
Everyone who has people who are important to them
should feel this way.

At least I believe that people who are important to me,
should know of the existence of the other people who are important to me.
Simply because these people are an integral part of my life,
and naturally,
they should know about the other people
who are the pieces of the jigsaw that makes me who I am.

To compartmentalise,
or not to compartmentalise,
it's eventually,
a question of trust.

How sure are you that after letting that person into your life,
he/she will not hurt the other people you hold dear,
by walking away after they've all learnt to love him/her
because of you?

So the homo-dragon-boater and I settled on a way
to distinguish among his many leading ladies.
We use apt nicknames such as "busty girl" , "the grinder"
just to name a few.

At the end of the night I asked him,

"So, does it mean that if I ever meet your future wife,
I'll only come to know and address her as THE WIFE?"

and I'm glad to hear his response

"Of course not! You'll be invited to our wedding, in case you're wondering.
By then, everyone should already know her name."

I should hope so!
When the time comes dear boy,
it'll bring a smile to your face every time you say her name.
And hopefully,
she'll change you enough so you start enjoying your meals and
none of your guests will walk away with calorie counters as door gifts
for your wedding.