Boys,
they always say one thing but mean another.

Mr Kong, "Stop trying to seduce me by playin wit the zipper of ur jacket. 对不起, 放不下"

You can stop fantasizing about undressing me. It will never happen.
I repeat, NEVR EVER.

Boys,
they'd lie through their asses when they love you.

Mr Sandrick: You guys! Stop suaning her ok?Didn't u see her very cool red specs?
If I were not attached, I'd sian her myself

And only tell you the truth when they stop (loving you).

Mr Sandrick: Wah!! Few months never see u, I didn't know u got pregnant! Last time you
walk by, still will whistle a bit. Now ah....*makes a puke sound and a puke face*

If not for Doris celebrating her 21st,
I'd haf been wit da seasons having a ball of Halloween fun
instead of subjecting myself to being bullied at East Coast
by a guy who cycled like a crawling snail,
by another guy who looks pregnant himself,
and a man trapped in a woman's body whom I believed to be possessed
to insist on being glam-glam
and donning a SKIRT to a bbq cum chalet.

Men!
Tell me what are they good for?

I used to think they at least served one purpose.
But after an enlightening conversation with Boss during our shake-leg-make-money-saturday-session,
I was introduced to a relatively new "gadget" called the "rabbit".

According to Boss,
this little pet was all the rage in America,
and it was even featured in sex and the city.
It carries all the traditional features that such a "toy" shd carry,
with an added newly improved rotating head.

Interested parties,
u'll b glad to know that our very own green city had alrdy brought it in,
and it is currently priced at around 300 bucks.

And I was telling Boss,
that with every new innovation,
men are slowly becoming obsolete.

Think about it,

1) You don't get asked 98712187314635th times a night by a freaking fit dragon-boater
"Seriously, am I fat?" when minutes ago,
u were indirectly told by someone tt ur tummy is "spottable" all the way from the carpark.

2) You don't get told tt ur tummy is "spottable" all the way from the carpark.

And in addition,

3) You don't get the shock of ur life when u spot old fugly pics of urself
suddenly resurfacing in somebody's blog.

"Rabbits" keep quiet,
and their only goal in life is ensuring that you get all the perks,
without all the messy strings attached.

*wriggles non-existent eyebrows suggestively*

So Seriously,
I mean seriously,

Who needs men when there are rabbits around?

So we heard that entry to Zouk was $12 before 10pm.
Excitedly,
we got down at ard 9plus,
paid,
stamped,
and was told tt the club's not ready.

Wat better things to do than to camwhore in the grand toilet of Copthorne hotel?


Now doesn't this look like some prom picture or sth?
haha~
It was taken by a tourist from Thailand.
She was actually sittin on the sofa before we hauled her roughly off it,
and threatened her viciously to take a grp pic for the four of us.

Just kidding.
We merely asked politely,
with a smile of cause :)

This was the stamp.
It's not very clear,
but it shows the picture of a crown.
And it makes Joddie and Ms C extremely happy cos it makes them feel like princesses.

Unfortunately,
there were no princes that night.
Ok, except for that one tall guy in striped long-sleeve white shirt,
(yes.... the kind tt I've a fetish for)
who was kind enuf to stand behind us to protect us.

New member: Joddie aka. Summer season.
No. 1 drinker of the group.
Super self-confident,
likes older men.
Current beau is 40 yrs old.
Has superb control over vulnerable emotions
Possesses incredibly sharp instincts where ticos are concerned,
and killer elbows that jab into their ribs without a trace of hesitation.

Existing member: A.M aka Ms C-cups (or is it D?) aka Ms Autumn
Interning at a renowned advertising firm which has an open bar concept every friday.
Hence the No. 2 drinker of the group.
Streetwise sometimes,
gullible at others.
Currently sick and tired of singaporean men,
a potential SPG.

Existing member: Ms C. Aka Ms Spring
under the illusion tt she's the autumn season,
an illusion that noone bears to shatter for her.
A die-hard romantic who stubbornly believes in the idealism of love.
And she's currently in love with the toilets,
where she spent most of the time last night.
Gullible at times,
bimbo at others,
and adorable always.


I puked.

I never thought I would, but I did.
Not to worry,
I did so quietly,
prettily,
and demurely.

Lol~

The music was good,
the company was good,
but other than that,
everything that can go wrong,
went wrong.

All in all,
to sum up,
1) Never head to Zouk on a saturday night without the company of guy friends.
2) Never be friendly to cab uncles in the middle of the night,
especially if it's left with just u and him in the cab.

but I still had a ball of fun nonetheless.
hahahahaha~

Onto to something more heart-warming than rude, disrespectful guys who are tico-peks,
and cab drivers who talks excessively and makes inappropriate comments.

Some people say that age is a representation of maturity.
Most people agree that with age,
with growth,
people mature and change.

Yesterday,
the girls and the boyfriend were sitting in a comfortable circle in the den over at Netty's.
It's like old times again,
with maybe a little more maturity.

The girls are still girls,
just with the additional role of "girlfriends" cast onto them.

The boyfriend is still the same one as before (thankfully!)
and still as friendly and funny,
just with the additional role of "auditor" cast onto him.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon well spent,
with gr8 food,
and gr8 company.

Selamat Hari Raya Adifi.

We've got to meet up again soon ok?
and we must take photos this time.
I realised tt we did not yesterday -_-!!
ok!!Time to hit my books man!!!

In Psychology we learnt about operant conditioning.
That is,
to employ the use of rewards and punishment to teach/ alter behavior.

Allow me to clarify with a simple example.

Desired behavior: Healthy lifestyle, regular exercise.

Punishment:
Being told by your very own blood brother on a bright and sunny day,
when ur mood is super good,
especially after a satisfying sun-tanning trip to Sentosa that

"Chey(sister in dialect), I don't know why hoh, but you looked like a brown gorilla today eh"

Reward:
Being told by your hair dresser tt u looked like u lost weight
and tt ur lookin better these days.

So apparently,
operant conditioning works.
After having suffered under the hands,
or shd I say TROTTERS of my brother,
I resumed my routine evening jogs.

For awhile I liked running in the late evenings,
around my estate,
and just take in the quiet surroundings
shrouded in the romantic orange of the street lamps.

Unfortunately,
the pleasure was short-lived.
Since I-don't-know-when,
there's been this irritating Maris boy who's hell bent on challenging me.

Of cos I couldn't out-run him.
&^*^%^%#^&%*&^

And I am not happy about it, by the way.

So I gave up and retreated to my neighbourhood park,
the mini one which is populated with lao-kok-koks,

where I am easily the best runner around.
:)

But then again,
the lao-kok-koks are lovely.

Two evenings ago,
one actually smiled at me while I was doing my warming down.
She walked over and we began to chat.

So,
following in zee's footsteps,
Professor fairyinagoldfishbowl is going to share with everyone
a "medical knowledge" that the old lady shared with me.

She's from China,
and immigrated to our green city a few decades back.
We were just chatting for awhile,
until a toad leapt by.

We both looked at it.
"frog..."I exclaimed in mandarin.
"It's a toad," she smiled, "see? the skin is a dull brown, and it's rough"
I walked closer to the creature and studied it.

"In my hometown, whenever anyone is down with a persistent fever, you'll see their close kin busy flipping every stone in the garden, especially so after a downpour."

"Why? You mean there's a belief that finding a toad after the rain will cure a fever?"

"No. We'll catch the toad, only toads, not frogs, and then put it on the sick's stomach, and cover it with a glass container. Let it jump around in there until it dies of suffocation"

I figured I must've looked super shocked.

"You honestly believe it will work?"

"It always works. They always recover the next day."

Isn't that amazing?

You know,
everyone shd take some time out to talk with the older folks sometimes.
You'll be surprised by their stories.

Now I'm looking forward to running in the park.
And I'm thankful for the theory of operant conditioning.

Rewards and Punishments work.

Having been in the call centre for a prolonged period of time,
I have come to believe that the word "FUCK" is an indispensible one.

It has such a fuckingly amazing variety of uses,
ranging from expressing joy

for example,
"Fuck sia!I can't believe this customer is so nice!"

to anxiety

"I'm so gonna be fucked by my TL......die die die...."

to frustration

"fuck fuck fucker!!for 5 cents drag my call!!!stingy fucker!"

Moreover,
every fucking form of the word is just as useful,
be it as a noun, adjective, adverb, verb,
and get this,

it can even be used as a form of spoken punctuation!!!

"I'm so fucking pissed ok? Fuck. He doesn't do his job and when I do mine, I get blamed. Fuck. Sometimes I really can't stand it. Fuck. I tell you, lucky I have my fucking fren. Or else, fuck, I tell you, I wldn't haf gotten to where I am today. Fuck"

What a word!!!!

But last night,
I received an enlightening lesson.

I believe everyone already appreciates the great uses of the noble word.
But have you ever wondered about its history?

According to the young at heart,
the word was born in medieval times,
when the king played god
and where each and every action undertaken has to be permissioned by the king himself.

Even very personal ones.

So I was told,
in the past,
after people have sought the king's consent,
they would place the acronym,
F.U.C.K
at their door

F(ornification) U(nder the) C(onsent of the) K(ing)

Don't you think that
that would've made a more interesting sign to hang on the hotel door,
rather than the very boring "Do not disturb"?

I think so!!!!

lol~



hell woman,
you're one amazing fuck.
I don't think I wld ever be able to fully appreciate the word had u not presented me with such an "all-rounded education" lol~

you've been workin VERY hard,
and althoh it's a very encouraged attitude to adopt,
please please PLEASE remember to take care of yourself.

The perfect handy-plus ad:

Setting- An ordinary lecture theatre in school

Girl spots a focused frown on her face as she concentrates on scribbling down the mathematical equations and graphs on the projector screen.

With a muttered oath,
she throws her pen on the table,
and grabbing her right hand with her left,
turns it upward so she can glare at the wound that is right smack on her palm.

Guy sitting beside her shakes his head,
rummages in his bag for awhile,
then grabs her right hand.

Girl turns to him in shock and tries to pull away.

Guy shifts his body and his arm so that girl's hand is locked.

They struggle discreetly,
but violently

"Put plaster!" he insists

"No!!!The pus will not dry up!" she whispers fiercely

"It's an open wound, have to cover up to prevent infection!" he retorts in just as fierce a whisper.

Girl gives up the struggle.

Guy,
proudly,
as if overcoming a tough obstacle,
stuck the plaster on girl's palm with a victorious smirk,
then leans back to admire his masterpiece.

"What?" Girl asks.

Guy grabs girl's hand again,
and with his other free hand,
snatches up his pen.



"There! Like this, with my endorsement and smile, u'll have the speediest of speedy recovery"

Satisfied,
guy returns attention to the balding lecturer up front

Girl,
studies the plaster on her palm and smiles to herself.

Change the way you think.

Handy-plus,
giving you infinite possibilities.

Scene changes to one at the park,
with the guy and the girl sitting on a park bench.

Guy suddenly turns to the girl and staring at her intently,
produces a blue velvet jewelry box.

Girl's hands fly to her mouth as she gasps in shock.

She looks at him with a question in her eyes.
He nods as if understanding the quiet query,
then opens the box.

It holds a beautiful, ribboned, unopened,
HANDYPLUS.

"Remember how we met?" He asked.

Girl smiles, nods, and teared sweetly.

Guy lifts girl's hand,
untied the ribbon around the plaster,
tore off the wrapping,
and carefully,
reverently,
slips it on girl's ring finger.

The couple hugs.

Handyplus,
the affordable alternative to all your needs.

Think about it,
you can't do without it.

[ An original work by the very talented blogowner, conceived when she was inspired by
the mini altercation she had with her partner-in-crime, similar to the one above,
during a managerial econs (yes, managerial econs again!) lecture. Point to note: unlike the conception above,
blogowner and plaster boy do know each other.]

I'm gonna hafta make extra trips to the temple before my managerial econs exams if this goes on....
I'm gonna be a geek and really FOCUS for my next ME class....
I have to do it!!

Grr!!!!

Now this is completely random,
it's just sth tt struck me suddenly.

I realised tt blogs are truly amazing.

There, during that same ME lecture,
I caught sight of 2 very familiar faces,
but the thing is,
I know for certain that I do not know them personally.

Yet I know that I've seen them,
and I KNOW abt them.

I even know that one of them is called "Liling",
a girl who's quite into shopping and sports.
And I even know that she just went cable-surfing in batam or bintan,
or well, u noe, some nearby island.

The other is Hoi Ling.
Does Ktv quite regularly,
Quite a camwhore and someone who knows how to "act-cute"

I thought abt it for quite sometime,
trying to recall if they're some really random hi-bye friends.
And then,
it suddenly came to me this afternoon where I've seen them before,
and how I've come to know abt them.

THEIR BLOGS!

Isn't it scary?

Come to think of it,
who knows who's reading my blog at this moment,
some stranger whom I don't know,
but who knows abt the intimate thoughts that's going through my mind,
and who knows abt my life,
maybe even more so than some of the acquaintances I have.

WOW.

He is Yan Bin,
(note: not the Korean actor, YUAN BIN)
about a month pre-matured.
A living example of how fragile life really is.
He feels so soft,
it's as if he would snap if I were to hold him just a little tighter.


I attended his brother's 1st month baby shower,
yet he is the one I spent the most time with.
He is Yan Wei, 3 years of age,
loves flying,
potential commentator,
SUPER adorable.
He is so cute that he managed to talk me into keeping him company,
sitting on the floor while he balances himself on the toilet bowl,
trying hard not to fall in,
and giving him my 100% attention while he gives me a blow-by-blow account of the shit that's coming out of his asshole.

They had what we like to call a "shotgun" marriage.
They had their share of problems,
temptations that almost drove them apart.

I never believed in unions such as these,
neither did I believe tt it is love that kept them together.

In my opinion,
obligations,
responsibilities that came in the form of children,
form a much stronger adhesive.

Even so,
they looked happy.
And tonight,
they formed the perfect portrait of a happy family.

In fact, they are even planning for a third child!

Mr Seng posed a question to the table last night.

He asked if we could accept and eventually forgive our significant others,
if they ever cheat on us.

It was unanimous across the table that that was the ultimate relationship breaker.

Apparently there are always exceptions to every situation.

And this couple seemed pretty happy.

Maybe "forgive and forget" isn't just a fabled saying.
Perhaps the famed saying has its merits after all.

Maybe simple people living in their fantasies,
away from the reaches of reality and ambitions
do have it easier.

May they always live in the oblivion of bliss :)


Oh this has nothing to do with the above post.
I'm just giving in to my mum's request to put up her very HOT pic.

Lol~

She's a living testimony tt growing old gracefully is not only a privilege for the folks over at Hollywood!!

I so wanna look like that when I'm in my late fifties.

You know you're sunburnt
when you scratch non-stop
and start applying moisturiser in the midst of lecture.

You know you're so burnt you are going to peel
when you conscientiously slather moisturiser on yourself
despite getting weird looks from the people you thought were your friends.

You know you don't have many friends in school
when despite watching you grimace in pain,
they continue patting your very chao-tah shoulders.

You know you are bored in lecture
when your partner-in-crime and you got so high over the surprising discovery of using the same type of oil blotters,
and within the space of a few minutes,
broke out into a heated argument over who's the idiot who's using the product meant for the opposite gender
and ended up with some sort of differentiation,
some sort of an acceptable truce......




You know you can kiss your hopes of getting 1st class for managerial econs
when all of the above takes place in that one single lecture.