I'd always believed that it is extremely painful to be attending classes alone.

Yes,
I did joke about the prospect of me being a loner school nerd almost 2 yrs ago,
attending classes in my baggy, PJ-like tees and ugly glasses,
blending into the background and making the sch library my regular hang-out.

But the truth is,
I hated that image.

I even believed that I would not be able to survive the ordeal.

I attended my FIRST ever lecture ALONE today.
I was damn late.



And about half an hour later,
Mr SIM strolled over and tapped me on my shoulder.

I panicked.

Before anyone start having funny thoughts,
he wasn't tryin to hit on me.
It was merely an act of friendly greeting to a casual acquaintance.

That pat actually made me realise that the difficulty of attendin classes alone
doesn't lie in the "alone" factor.

I realised that I can be quite self-sufficient.
I'm perfectly fine with sitting there,
and just focusing on the lessons.

In fact,
I think I'm more attentive when I attend lectures alone. Lol~

What's unbearable is seeing acquaintances,
or rather,
being SEEN attending lectures alone by acquaintances.

You know,
people who are neither friends,
nor strangers?

It's the caught in the middle feeling that I don't particularly enjoy.

U don't feel like acting too friendly
for fear of making them feel obliged to invite u to join them,
fully knowing that joinin them and their friends wld make u feel like an uninvited guest
intruding in an exclusive party.

It's that feeling of not knowing what to do,
how to react
that I hate.



I thought my morning wld go downhill from then on.

What I did not expect is that,
I actually walked out of the lecture theatre feeling alright about 3 hours later.

And I even regained enuf of my sociable self
to engage in polite small talk with the people sitting around me.
I regained enuf of my sociable self to initiate a friendly goodbye to the same people who waved hello.

To Ms Phua and Ms Hung,
attending lectures alone has become a way of life.

To me,
my very weird experience today made me realise that,

Growing up isn't that difficult afterall.



Being independent isn't as tough as I imagined it to be.

Independent,
or lonely?

It's only a matter of perspective, isn't it?

On a lighter note,
allow me to share a little incident that occurred last week.

I was hanging out with gorgeous galpal last thursday at our
老地方 at far east.
I was sitting opposite her,
and I had this picture as my handphone wallpaper,





Cos,
yeah,
well,
I thot I looked pretty good in that pic

*shrugs* lol~

I AM VAIN.

So sue me.
Even average people have the right to feel hiao~ ok?


Right,
now,
why did I post the pic above,
overturned?

Cos that was what it looked like to gorgeous galpal,
and I felt obliged to protect her from the evil remarks that wld definitely follow
as the story unfolds....

Back to the story.


Galpal reached across the table and snatched up my ph.....

Stared at it for a full five seconds....

Her eyes became saucer-wide....

and her surprised exclamation ought to be filed as a classic.


"Eh!! That was me eh!! Hahahaha!
I thot she looked pretty
and I wondered who she is"


It is true.
Kumgong-ness is pretty contagious is it not?

The sacrifices galpal makes for me.
Tsk tsk~

I love u darlin~

I dun think there'll ever be another
who's willing to allow her brain to disintegrate
just to be with me.

Muacks~