Well,
while I've been missing from the blogasphere these days,
I've been busy discovering revelations about myself.

Take for instance,
this miraculous fact tt I've just learnt awhile ago while I was suddenly struck by a
difficulty-to-breathe moment.

I was heading for my bath when I was struck by the feeling tt there just wasn't enuf air entering my windpipes.
There seemed to be stuff stubbornly obstructing the sacred passage that is my nostrils.

Curious,
I stuck my pointer finger in and guess wat I found?

Lots of stuff.
Icky stuff.

I seemed to have discovered the cause for my heavy,
loud breathing.

The same heavy,
loud breathing that was the source of complaint by a certain Mr Da-tou,
the same heavy,
loud breathing that scared the living daylights out of a certain Ms Phua when she thought I was suffering from an asthma attack.

P.S just so u know my dear,
I do not have asthma,
and I'm anaemic, not leukemic :P
There is a difference.

Onto the second thing that I've discovered for myself.
I totally lack sex appeal.

After having been stranded in bed with 3 pubertic guys for a night,
who are supposed to be plagued with raging hormones after a few drinks,
and having nothing happen but complaints of my loud breathing in their ears
disturbing their sleep,
I cannot help but reach the conclusion that either they are gay,
or I'm totally unattractive.

And I'm quite sure they r straight.
Althoh one of them does love NUM to a fault.....

Of cos,
as a thinking undergrad who did a sociology module,
I can't possibly believe that I'm unattractive just because of that.
I mean,
it cld as possibly mean that they're BU XING or dead drunk.

But then again,
the notion was reinforced by a certain Mr Shen when he regards me as a "tok-kok-sing-song-brudder" and
to be asked one fine day on our morning walk-to-the-canteen-for-refreshments-aka slack-routine
"ni que ding ni yi hou jia de chu qu ma?" (r u sure u won't b left on the shelf in future?).

Just so I wasn't being paranoid or lacking in self-esteem,
A certain Mr Bak kwa further confirmed my belief last sunday at the S11 near my place,
when he shrieked a terrified "NO WAY!!" when I nobly offerred myself at the sacrificial altar while we were commiserating abt his latest failed exploit.
Deer cld be my eye-witness.
SOMPA!!

On a brighter note,
Ms Lee,
bless her intelligence for sensing my boyishness,
contributed 20bucks for my first dress.

Right,
so where was I?
Oh right,
unattractive.

This ultimately led to my third revelation.

That I am not one to cry over spilt milk apparently,
cos I took action!

I hopped over to sentosa early Monday mornin early enuf to catch mac breakfast anyway!
to catch a tan with Ms Lim cos,
yeah,
personally I think tanned girls are incredibly sexy,
especially if they have gorgeous bikini tanlines like those that I'm spotting now!

Althoh the seoul garden buffet that follows goes a long way to soothing my injured ego,
the damage was worst than I thought.
Or maybe it's the thought of facing the boys who shared my bed that fateful night in the
twilight of evening,
over chilli crabs,
I fell seriously ill.

The doc insists it's gastric flu.
Secretly thoh,
I called her a liar many times while I laid on the bed,
wondering if I was gonna meet my maker in my new-ugly-kumgong-hairdo,
and worrying that it really was gonna happen!

P.S. beeteng, I seriously got wat u meant by the urge to sob miserably when u'r
seriously ill and noone's home with u.

All in all,
I do believe that I shd be pardoned for my long absence and previous half-hearted entry abt the national day bet.

Afterall,
a girl can only take so many blows without breaking down.

Have a heart!!

**Above entry was all in the name of fun. All misters and misses mentioned are extremely fine, straight pple. And so is the blogger herself. Do not be overly concerned abt the cracks she made at herself. She perfectly enjoys mocking herself. In a sadistic, perverse manner. Maybe one day, when she's feeling inspired enuf, she may go into details abt the biggest bet she had ever made in her 18 yrs-37 months-and counting-of life, or, she may even tell u abt the sequel to the shoe episode. This time thoh, it's involving another apparel......