I was exceptionally proud of the 4 pairs of shoes tt I brought back from bangkok,
cos they're real cheap (less than $10 each)
and real nice,
and super comfy.


I've alrdy taken 3 out of the 4 out for walks,
and since I especially love the mustard coloured pair,
I kept it for special occasion.


I actually intended the openin ceremony on nxt wed,
the night out wit my seasons.

But I cldn't wait,
I figured shan's bday party was important enuf for me to put on new shoes.

So I put it on,
and rushed out the door.
I'm seldom late,
and I was alrdy runnin 15min late,
and tt's not including travel time.


So I quickened my steps,
and my left leg twisted.

Thank god my ankle wasn't sprained.

Unsuspecting, I continued my brisk walk.
It twisted again.
and again
and again.


Damn, maybe because it's new shoes.
They're not broken into yet.


I found a seat on the bus and sat down.
Stoned for awhile,
before my narcissistic streak overtook me.

I lifted my legs to admire the pretty shoes.




So pretty...


and then something abt it being not quite right...
I remembered sth weird when I was bucklin up the shoes....
both shoes' buckle seemed to point to the same direction...
or was it my imagination....
I turned my leg and inspected the bottom of the shoes...


F***!


BOTH ARE RIGHT FOOTED!!!!



Oh my freaking god!!!!


So I smiled and socialised my night away at shan's bday party flawlessly,
and nobody suspected a thing,
except deer who alrdy knew,
and who laughed so hard the car shook.
k lah, at least he helped cover-up and avoid situations where I had to remove my shoes.


So at least my stupidity was under wraps.


Actually the pair of shoes was really gr8.
After walkin ard in it for awhile,
it really feels ok.
You know how my feet always hurt, no matter the shoes.
And zee had alrdy concluded it to b "user problem"
but this pair doesn't bite at all!!
So I felt tt ok,
I was up to doing supper wit nelson after the intensive walkin at the party.


Supper was gr8.
Cheese prata was fantastic,
and althoh nelson never managed to gif me his "nelson-joke-of-the-day"
he promised me he'll try to beat my "we***-joke-of-the-century" (the stupid shoes)


Sometime during the supper,
I was again caught up by the urge to admire my stupid shoes.
So I raised my legs under the table and I really thought something was wrong again.
But I cldn't be sure cos the idiots interrupted me


"Stop lookin at the shoes lah, it won't turn into a left pair just bcos u keep starin at it"


Idiots.


The ordeal of the night was over at abt 2am,
when I reached hm.
Standing with my hands on my hips,
I looked at the shoes with regret.


It could haf been u,mustard, but sadly, it didn't work out.


While my mum sat in a crumble on the floor laughing.
It was about 2,
in the damn inhuman hours of dawn.


I came to the conclusion that the sales lady must be pervertic.
Or else she must be damn pissed abt our tryin all her shoes, and haggling for discounts.
But u noe wat,
it consoled me to know that she now has two left pairs to get rid off,
and I don't think there cld b another me in the world,
so


GOOD LUCK TO U, BITCH!!


Finally satisfied,
I grabbed my towel and was on the way to the bathroom,
when suddenly I remembered abt tt weird feelin I had at kayu b4 the idiots broke my thoughts.


I dropped my towel on the nearby sofa,
and advanced on the pair of shoes lying innocently on the floor.


I reached out my hands and aligned them.


Horrified,
and refusing to believe my eyes,
I turned the pair over in slow motion....


Lightning streaked across the sky,
followed by the roar of thunder.

I guessed they were laughin at my stupidity.
At my so-thought level of stupidity.


I stared at the two different numbers inscribed at the soles of the shoes.
and I screamed


"MA!!!!!!!The right side is 37, while the right side is 38!!!!!"


I think I saw tears on my mum's cheeks last night.
Althoh I can't b sure if she cried cos she laughed so hard,
or she cried cos she's never expected to give birth to a daughter who is so retarded.


Oh well,
I heard stupidity is hereditary.

And you know wat this means?
this means that the pervert of a saleslady now has two left pairs of shoes in her shop,
both of different sizes.

LIFE IS FAIR.