We were sitting side by side at the bar,
Quietly chatting and laughing while the bartender does his stuff.
It was cosy.
I put down my glass of lychee martini and watched him as he paused in the midst of conversation,
Put down his glass and reached for his handphone when it vibrated.
So he put it on silent mode, how thoughtful.
He smiled as he checked his message,
a kind of smile that touched his eyes,
a kind of smile that brought a twinkle to his eyes,
a kind of smile that brought an unexpected twist of jealousy in my tummy.

There’s a secret that he shares with the person who smsed him,
A secret that I’m not a part of.

He replied the message,
Then looked up at me with a sheepish smile as he got out of his chair.
“I’m afraid I need to go, I’m meetin my fren for supper”

Out of nowhere,
And for no reason,
I blurted out, “girlfriend?”

“Not yet…..u don’t mind right….do u?”

“Do I haf a right to?”

Shocked, he stared at me.

I laughed, “ I was kidding. Don’t be silly, I don’t haf a right to.”

He just stood there, and stared harder.

I felt exposed.

I felt like he was staring me all the way to my black black heart.

I sighed, “ Go, just go. I’ll be fine”
I picked up my lychee martini and took another sip.

He sat back down, ordered another drink
And stared straight ahead.

Silence.

“U know, we never really talked abt wat happened, did we?
Wat actually happened? I thought there was something going on, but I guess I was mistaken”

“Wrong time, wrong place, might be right person….just too many wrong things going on….my life was too screwed up then…

I told him abt him,
About everything that went on,
About every freaking thought that held me back.
I managed to tell him what I’ve always wanted to say,
Yet never found the chance and courage to

“I’m Sorry”

It’s nothing,
Just two simple words that means a lot to me.
A lot.

A whole damn lot.

Relief,
I never knew it tasted like tears.
I never knew relief was an opening of floodgate
He bent over and took me in his arms.

“It’s ok….shhhh….it’s ok….It’s over….”

“I know, and I’m so glad it really is over”

We pulled away.
He passed me a tissue.

“I am so tak-glam” and I blew my nose.

He laughed, “U know, I’m so glad we had this conversation”

“I know!!!!!Me too!!!!! But I think u better go,” I smiled.

“No, let’s talk this through. Excuse me while I make a call”

We talked.
It was one of the most open conversations ever.
We laughed about it.

It was one of the most rewarding conversations ever.

He finally left,
And we waved goodbye with genuine smiles and a great warm hug.

He’s meeting her for breakfast instead.

I told deer abt the dream.
I told him how real it felt.
And how disappointed I was when I woke up.

He said that apparently,
This had been bothering me for a long time.

Sometimes it scares me that I can share so much with him,
He could read me like a god-damned book.
He called me a procrastinator (of cos, he didn’t use the word…u know his command of English lah….)
He called me a runner.
He asked me to hand over my phone so he cld just text for me and get it over and done with so I can focus on exams with a clear head.

Dew said that one should never underestimate the power of chauffering when it comes to fostering relationship.

I say it forges friendship J

Just what do you do when ur stuck in a vehicle for a long long ride?
U talk,
Expecially when it feels so comfortable and peaceful,
Just watching the road and greenery speed by…..

I mean hello?
Today is not hui ye….
is XIAO HONG!!!!!

I’m still waiting for bak kwa’s BMW thoh…

Revision class today was extremely frustrating,
To say the least.

I had both hands clasped tightly together
And a perpetual frown on my forehead.

Whenever he leans over to either crack a joke
Or clarify about the lecturer’s lecture,
He intoxicates me.

And I frowned even harder,
Shifted my hands from the top of the table to under my butt,
So I’d make sure my heavy weight keeps them down
And obedient,

And not somewhere they shd not be.

He rolled up his sleeves to his mid arm,
Something I found really sexy whenever a guy wears a long sleeved casual shirt
With jeans.

Deer was seated on my right,
And he leaned over, “eh u very stressed isit?”

I almost burst out laughing.

“Yeah, very”

“Don’t be, U’ll be fine…U haven’t revised this chapter yet, naturally u’ll be lost.”

“Thanks” I smiled at him (thankfully, he doesn’t read me THAT well sometimes)

From then on,
I tried to keep my eyes focused
To the front,
To the right,

Anywhere but to my left.

Anywhere.

And I realized,
I do not only haf a fetish for casual white shirts,
I think casual black ones with stripes are not that bad as well.

Oh well,
Maybe I just haf a fetish for him :P

I’m a happy girl~

YUM YUM!!!

On Thurs,
mu and I finally went on our much anticipated date to Cafe Del Mar.

Beautiful isn't it? An idealic haven I wldn't mind spendin the rest of my life!

Now that there's the sentosa express, trips are much more comfy

Just tap the blue card!!

This is it!!!Cafe Del Mar!!

Ever since I saw it on meiting's blog, and the TV program, it's been haunting my dreams. Finally on Thurs, we finally made it there. Looks romantic doesn't it?

Now here's the story. We took this bus.

and dropped right outside cafe del mar.

The two girls then stood there, squintin as the sun's rays beat down on them.

It's not that they don't wanna step into the cafe,

they don't know how.

So they walked ard it to the front only to be greeted by an exclusive,

fenced up sight of a villa populated by ang mohs.

We came,

we saw,

and we left.

Each secretly making a silent vow that the nxt time we visit the place again,

we'll haf enuf confidence in them to strut right in.

Now u noe,

despite our loud self,

we are actually quite lackin in self-confidence

*covers face in embarrassment*

So we found a nice spot on the beach.

It was cool and shady....it felt safe and comfy until we looked up and saw this

It was a malicious coconut, strategically growin a few feet above our heads.

If coconuts cld be convicted, I'm sure it will be taken to court for atempted murder.

Now, despite the disappointin revelation abt our self-esteem,

and the murder threat,

I never fail to enjoy myself whenevr I'm with this girl.

Look!We even discovered that switchin shades made us appear as if we've got alot of shades

we had so much fun, even sadako decided to crash our party

Now who says sadako only crawls out of a TV?

cool huh??

Speakin of cool,

check out our fave photog spot

MULTIPLE "O"ssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!
Look pple, wat I meant was multiple photos with the letter "O" in them

And I love the letter "I" as well ok....not just the "O"

U noe, I always haf so much fun when my galpal is ard,

even when there's absolutely nothing, no toys, I mean props, I mean, err....nothin to haf fun with. I wonder if anythin or anyone cld beat that.

And sweet Ewe actually asked me this:

"U've done everything with ping alrdy. Seriously, wat r u gonna do with ur boyfren?"

I haf a pretty cheeky idea wat I'd b doing with my boyfren.....

many creative ideas in fact,

but the point is,

yeah,

I totally enjoy this girl's company and hopefully I will continue to haf her company until she finds someone to engage in cheeky activities with.

Enjoy ur freedom and singlehood while it lasts my dear, take this time to be who u really are, do wat u really want. Laugh as loudly as u like, cry as hard as u want, b as willful as u long.

Cos u'll never get this chance to do so when u haf someone by ur side.

I LOVE U!!!!

Because it's my last day in the office,
because I decided tt goodbye e-mails are more often than not super boring and similar,
and because I feel like a rotten bitch today.


Hey pple,

Ever seen the girl who goes around the office bare-footed?
Ever heard the girl with the high-pitch voice cursing when she encounters stu*** unreasonable pple who unfortunately happens to possess enuf intelligence to pick up the ph and call 16**?

Congrats if u haf,
Sorry if u didn’t,
Cos she’s leaving

She never thot she wld leave with a heavy heart,
I mean, come on….wat’s there to miss abt screamin banshees???
Surprisingly, she is leaving with quite a heavy heart.

Nine months flew by just like that.
Time that is long enuf to give birth to another potential screamin lunatic.
There are more often than not, tough times,
But then again,
There are more often than not,
Wonderful pple who turn tough times into precious lessons.

I guess this cld b how a pregnant mother who just gave birth feel ba.
A bundle of contradictions.
Ur happy that it’s over,
Yet ur finding it hard to let go of the experience.

Cld this b the reason for the contractual term to be 9 freakin months?

Lol~

I’ll leave tt for u ppl to think abt.

With this,
And lots of thanks,
I bid u goodbye.

W**** a.k.a Carol.

Immediately after it went out,
my TL walked over and with utter fear written all over her face,
(I was surprised she did not trip over her haste and fear, seeing tt she was trembling all over)
asin me to recall the e-mail.
Apparently,
my mail is too descriptive and the top B**CHES wld get offended by my gd-bye mail.
And according to her,
I wld not b the one gettin it,
the billing TLs wld.

*FAINTS*

Can the company get even more bureaucratic?

Last day in the office,
and just for the heck of it,
I'm reveling in blogging with the office computer!!!

I have to put this up.
U haf no idea how high my mum was when she saw this pic.

According to her,
she has never looked this good.

check out her blog at www.laohiaozhabo.blogspot.com

I'm kidding!!!
My mum doesn't blog!!!

Took her out for her monthly food feast today at Holiday Inn.
Cheap.
Classy decor.
Nice captain who is too friendly with my mum.
Food is ok,nothing to rave abt thoh.

There is this chinese couple who was sitting a table away from us.
They're old.
The man is balding, with sparse ivory hair peppered unevenly over his shiny head.
The woman has on a very xin fu smile on her face as they sat opposite each other,
eating,
softly chatting,
conversation punctuated by the gentle clinks of metal utensils against pocelain plates.

Whenever her plate empties,
the man gets up and refills it.
Whenever her cup empties,
the man gets up and brings back another,
filled with hot, aromatic cuppucino.

The woman always smile when she sees her man returning.
That is the expression of content, I guess.

That is marriage.

The sort that makes u sob in envy,
the kind that is written in fairytales.

A few months ago,
I was askin a fellow colleague abt his love story,
and I used to think that his was one of the most romantic reali life
love story I've ever heard.

Girl makes a call to a wrong no. in feb
Guy picks up.
Girl apologises and hangs up.

They started sms-ing, two strangers.

On Valentine's Day,
he asked her out.
It was the 1st time they met.
Gradually, they fell in love,
and after only a few months,
they pledged eternity.

Because according to him,
"she's the one"

A few months back,
when we were at this KTV pub,
he broke out in tears while he was halfway thru this Guang Liang song.
He was havin problems with his wife
and he was devastated at the thot of losing her.

He wonders if she still loves him.
He worries that she doesn't anymore.

A few months later,
he knows the rates of hotel 81 like the back of his hand. Rushin out and not makin full use of his money bcos he has to pick up his missus from work. Regrettin tt he did not take a package with shorter hours.

This is marriage too.

The sort that makes u sob in all its superficial glory
the kind that lives in reality.

You know,
There are some things in life that one shdn’t say too early.

For instance,
Saying that I club once every decade,
Since I’ve only stepped into a club twice in my twenty years of life.

Make that 3 times now.
No shit!! Does that make me 30 then?

*shrugs*

oh well, no loss, since I look 28 to pak toll anyway.

It was ladies night yesterday.
That means free entry
And free flow at Gotham and Dbl O!!

It also means an eye-opener to me.

I never knew clubbing cld be like this.
With the guidance of the chiongster-pro-ann-marie,
And the very enjoyable company of the very frank, very open, very horny Ms C
We actually had the time of our lives dancing and drinkin the night away.

Can u believe it?
We actually had an itinery.
Which, kinda reminds me of Chinese new yr visiting.

1st stop- Dbl-O

Drinks on the house!
Knowing myself, I will only enjoy myself when I get a little tipsy.
Downed a Cranberry vodka and Vodka ribena.
And I felt it.
Initially I thot that means I’m getting lousier at drinking.
I mean, previously, we took jugs and shots b4 feelin the effect,
And this was only two drinks!!!
Then here comes the 1st lesson of the night

Listen up girls!!!

Drinks for ladies are stronger on ladies night
Cos they wanna make sure that the men who pays for their cover charge get their money worth.

Close ur mouth pple,
I was kidding.

Accordingly to ann,
Drinks are stronger as they want the girls to leave faster and drink less.
This was also where the girls thot this girl was trying to pick me up.
Cos accordin to the girls, she smiled at me,
ordered drinks for us and kept lookin at me.

Has it crossed ur mind tt she’s lookin at me because I’ve sprouted antennas on my head?

Hello!!!!!!
Do I really look like a lesbian to you???????
(By the by, the girl in question, she’s from SIM too.
We only found out after we started toking)

2nd stop-MOS

Expensive drinks, that’s why we need to drink ourselves high b4 hitting the popular club
It was retro at the main area.
Quite high, but I felt awkward dancing to the beat,
Like, it doesn’t feel right however I move.
It also sucks that the lockers r full,
Call me sua-gu, but I’ve only been to MOS once b4 yesterday
And I was pleasantly surprised that MOS actually was made up of many halls,
Including one hip-hop/R&B one.
The only sucky thing was that it was downright packed.
And of cos,

We had no lockers to store our stuff.

Lesson number 2: Lockers are darn important

3rd stop-Attika

We left MOS after the 2 lovely horny bitches cld not stand their disappointment
At not being approached, and hit attika,
Which, according to ann-marie, a lot of hot ang mohs frequent.

Tell me again, why was I with them last night?
This girl here innocently only wanted to dance!!!
Lol~

Anyway,
They forgot to mention that there were hot and tall female ang mohs as well.
So where do these petite Asian girls stand then?
Ok, the petite one was me.
The pple probably had trouble spotting me, since I fall out of their vision range
And they probably had a hard time tryin not to trip over me.
But I kinda liked the music that was playin,

Just no eye candy.
Apparently, there were more hot girls than guys out to haf fun last night.

But there were lockers!!!!

LOCKERS.

Never underestimate the importance of lockers.
Never under-appreciate the existence of lockers.
I think I shd write a song abt lockers.

Lockers, I love u.

4th stop-Gotham.

Our tour guide says that Gotham serves powerful screwdrivers.
As if on cue,
Two bouncers towed a half-dead girl out of the lift.

P-O-W-E-R

She also says that Gotham is frequented by KLKs.

NOOOO!!!!!!!!!
If they ask us for MMS,
I swear I will punch their sharp noses flat.

The only reason we went there apparently,
is to drink up the free drinks.
The place was really….not very popular,
Compared to the other clubs that we hit,
This one was surprisingly empty.
I guess that means that the reputation has spread far and wide?

It was also here that I realized how famous Nageb has made me.
I was telling Ann that I was quite certain the bartender was from SIM.
And that girl, went to ask him if he was!!

Guess wat?

He told Ann that he recognized me.
IBM.

*faints*

5th stop-return to MOS
The girls had their wishes.
There was this loser guy trying to chat Ann up.
This freakin tall ang moh (read: I did not say hot) trying to dance with Ms C
And this other guy who sends his frens over to try and dance with us cos he is too shy to approach Ms C.

One thing abt MOS last night.
Maybe because it was retro night,
The older generation was out in full force!!
If I had drank more, I’d haf had the guts to take pictures of them.

There were aunties!!!
Wearin specs some more!!!
Wat a sight!!

Speaking of sights,
Pic of us might be up on MOS webby :X

Don’t worry, no embarrassing acts.

Speaking of embarrassing acts,
There were many
And girls,

This one here remembers every single one of them.

*huge smile in remembrance*

I told u I was sober.

5th stop-Tong Sui

This one is not a club,
It’s a food place.
Dancing can really burn calories,
Yes yes, I know, Marcus,
Alcohol contains a lot of calories as well.
So I probably did not lose any weight dancing the night away.
On the contrary, I probably gained some.
Oh well, I guess I cld take heart that we only ate ard 4?
So that’s more like early breakfast rather than sinful supper?
Lol~

The company was awesome.
Ms C and Ann were delightful to be with.
And it was a real enjoyment to sit down in a cosy place and just talk after
Hours of carefree indulgence.
I guess that means we’re back in reality.

The long walk to Orchard from Zion Road was just great.
Great conversation made the walk that much shorter.

I didn’t like clubbing
Lacking in morals
Empty.

But I enjoyed clubbing.
Because it lacks morals
Because it is empty.
A form of escape from the regulated everyday life.

This must be wat Goffman means by “backstage”
This must be wat Durkheim means by “anomie”

Oh well,
Back to books.

More clubbin action nxt Wed

She was adopted on 060307.

Beautiful colour,
a sleek, velvety black,
with sharp sharp eyes that can see you clearly,
as clear as ever.

Althoh her memory's not as fantastic,
and she can't sing as well as her white songbird counterpart,
I will love her for who she is,
and what she can do for me.

My dear sony ericsson K800I.

on her birthday

we had
Nah just kidding. Just the jap food lah.

What customer care consultants are really doing while answering ur queries....

a random pic that I just got recently.
I think it's a bright and colourful pic!!!!SO like us!!!!

The poor girl whose bday slipped my mind....

nvm!!!Here's a nice nice pic of u dear ewe!!!

So Gorgeous!!!!!!Thank the photographer for her superb skills k...

What I wished I was doing now.....

No...not stranded at Hooters after we cldn't manage to squeeze into MOS

Last but not least,

A beautiful young couple who did not let our government's down.

It's all thanks to pple like them tt the baby bonus do not go to waste.

Such a happy family....

That pic shd be turned into a pro-creation poster man!!!

come on all u singaporeans!!!

Learn from the exemplary couple above!!!!

I looked at the pics staring back at me from the computer screen
I finally found him.
She said tt there'll always be something abt him tt touches my heart,
tt makes me light up,
tt makes me search furiously thru cyberspace just to find out how he's doing.

There's been a number of meet-ups recently.
I think it's due to the festive season.

Somehow, there's just something abt the festive season tt reminds one of the past.

Met up with what's left of the fellowship....last sunday?

Adam looks....as Adam as before, and I'm glad the boy remains the boy tt I remember.
I mean, hello???? He is still habitually late.

Kenneth looks gooood~probably cos I haven't seen him in a shirt b4, compared to the Oscar Wilde days...*faints* SMU girls r gonna haf a field day with the 2 boys runnin ard!!!

Mich still reminds me of Juliet. She used to be a pensive Juliet, with Shakespeare's flair for words. She's a happier Juliet now, with Sanders chan by her side. Althoh I still haven't seen him, seeing her happier self now, i'm convinced tt whatever he does, he must be doing something right. Let's hope this one has a different ending.

Sab still looks hot, if not hotter. Killer legs, sexy tan...woo!!! And still as frank as ever.
"this is boring....the four of us". *faints* when i see a spade, I call it a spade. And her parents are still as lovey dovey as I remembered. Like 4 yrs ago, I still stood starin at her parents' old photos, as amused as ever at how much their looks have changed.

The house still stands at Ang Mo Kio, nothing much have changed in the interior.
Sab still has her cat.

But Snowball's missing,
Daena's missing,
Something distinct was missing.

Something irreplaceable tt a mahjong session cld not capture.
It was fun, but something was missing.

Naively, I thought we cld return to the good old days,
I guess I forgot that we are no longer eighteen :)

Caught up with the Soli-angels last thurs at our usual spot at Tekka,
with our usual Briyani.
4 busy girls taking time out to update one another on our lives.
It feels good to see that everyone's doing alright,
that's an understatement.
Everyone's doing fabulously well.
Maybe it's the shared experience of facilitation,
we seemed to have no problem sharing the good and bad things going on in our lives with each other,
ask what we've been dying to find out about one another's lives,
say the bitchiest things that we've been dying to say.
Even acknowledge the worst things abt ourselves :P

I know I don't show it,
and everyone knows how bad I am at remembering birthdays
but I cannot even begin to say how much I treasure the sort of friendship we have

It's not like there's a million pple in my life whom I can just put aside while
I struggle with the constant cycle of sorting-out-the-mess-in-my-life-then-messing-up-again
and yet feel like nothing's changed whenever we meet up.
This is something rare for me.
This is something that doesn't happen to me everyday.
And that's why I treasure them so.

Bird says that this is due to everyone being genuinely open.
Because someone shares,
because someone asks,
that's why someone else shares,
and someone else asks,
because we show that we care
that's why everyone knows that everyone cares.
And that's enough for us to have our own space to do ur own things.
I just love that scrawny bird.

And of cos,
met up with dear mu Thursday evening.
The girl who's been with me practically all my life.
The girl who knows all the mess I've been in
and am still in.
And I'm glad nothing's changed where she and I are concerned.

This is called growing up I guess.
You gain some, you lose some.
Just be glad that what you've gained is more than what u've lost.
And what u've lost, u lose willingly.

I found him different.
He still looks like him,
I don't know why Zee found it hard to recognise him in school.
I can still point him out in a crowd.
The only thing is,
I can no longer find the traces of him tt I used to know.
I'm finding it difficult even,
to remember what it is tt I used to know.
It's almost 6 years,
and I can't say tt it feels like yesterday.
What feels like yesterday thoh,
was what's left of me after the whole episode.