Things always happen whenever I take cab alone.

As usual,
I smiled as I entered the cab.

I always take the front seat if I'm taking a cab alone.
My mother once said to me tt if pple were to drive u,
sitting in the backseat is rude,
as if u r treating the person as ur personal driver.

So I sat in the front seat.

He was lounging in his seat,
his ample belly rising above his belted pants,
was resting comfortably in the space between the steering wheel and the pedals.
He has a nice, harmless face,
bespectacled, and sparse hair.

This uncle started telling me about his previous passengers.

He said that before he came to pick me up,
he was driving this sexy lady to a pub,
and the lady invited him to join her.

She offered to pay him $25 bucks an hour to wait for her and then drive her back.

"Woah!!!Uncle, then why didn't do so? Then no need so xin ku!!"

He gave me a shocked expression

"No lah!!Nowadays ah, ladies fall in love with men very easily one u noe?Later she fall in love with me ah...don't want lah!!!"

I burst out laughing.

"Eh!Young lady, don't laugh ok?!I'm serious!!Especialy young ladies like u fall in love with me very easily one u noe?!!!"

I laughed harder, while nodding my head.

Then I realised that he wasn't joking.

He was dead serious.

I turned to take in his profile again.

I didn't make a mistake the first time round.

He is still balding
old and bespectacled
his belly is still inflated like a hot-air balloon.

Young ladies like me fall in love with him!!!!??????

NEVER!!!!!!!!!

In a bid to further convince me,
he proceeded to state examples.

"Last time ah, I used to send this Hong Kong lady to work every morning ah,
then she will bring me breakfast everyday.
After that ah, she asked me play mahjong with her u noe?"

"Uh-huh~But like what u said, she's from HongKong, maybe she was lonely-"

"Lonely!!!"he sputtered, "she gave me her apartment keys u noe?Then she even asked me to go Europe with her, she pay for me u noe!!!"

!!!!Is this guy serious?

"Really? Did u go?"

"No lah!THis kind of thing.... later she wanna marry me, how?"

........Hurhur.....

"How old is she?"

"20+ lidat....Young lady, very pretty u noe?"

I smiled weakly.

"Then there was this other lady, Malay girl, she very young only. I also every morning send her to work. Then u know ah, Malays ah, every morning, the whole family will send her down, bring me curry puffs lah, putu mayam lah, nasi lemak lah, for breakfast u noe?"

"That's very nice of them. Maybe they were just being friendly?"

"Friendly?Hmmph!!No lah!!One mornin ah, the father came and said to me, "son, I wanna talk to u" I got scared u noe? Why the father wanna tok to me? You know what he asked me or not?"

He looked at me.

"Errr....u like my nasi lemak?"I made a wild guess.

He looked at me smugly

"No. He told me that I am a very nice man, and if I can ah, marry his daughter"

No wayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

"How old are u?"he suddenly asked me.

"Oh, I'm 25. I'm married with 2 kids, so don't worry, I won't fall for u."

He nodded.

"25 yrs old married already ah!!So young!!But good lah, good lah. Girls ah, no need to be so choosy. Find a good man like me can marry already"

!!!!!Hello??!!!Good men do not kiss-and-tell and flaunt their exploits!!

"Are u married?"

"Me?No lah!!Very hard to find a girl that I like.Somemore nowadays girls like to throw themselves at me. I don't like, very irritating."

*slaps hand to forehead*

"Yah, u can drop me here.Thanks, I need a receipt, uncle."

He turned on the light, and printed me a receipt.

"Wah, u give birth to 2 kids already ah? Nowadays ladies ah, can't tell. Married young ah? "

I smiled.

"Drive safe~" I said before closing the door.

"Wait wait wait!!U want me to come fetch u again 2ml?Same time?"

"Err...It's ok. My husband usually comes and fetch me. Today the car broke down."

Goodness!!!I have no wish to become another of his "stories"

*shudders*

Traumatizing.