I forgot....

the reasons why I used to cry over u
the reasons why I fell for u
the hurt I never felt before u

And I forgot the way I felt about u

but strangely, I can't
forget u

Neither will I forget the fear u taught me to feel
Or the stupidity of all that I've done during those forgotten years

And tonight, U crept into my mind again.

A distant memory from the past
A thought that brought a smile to my face

A dear old fren.

ByeBye~ 2005

Studies
For the first time in my life, I disappointed myself. A'level's was really bad. It made me shy away from studies. A yr break would do me good. Stolen time to be returned August 2006.

1st class honours, here I come!!!!

Work
Whoa~Switched a few jobs here and there.

B.E.S consultancy, which totally defines slavery.
Maybank, legalised slavery,
and HSBC, cheap labour, kinda like those Bangladesh construction workers *shrugs

Work....gave me a glimpse of what future life would be like after graduation

It sucks.

Love
Mmm...Let's see,

*sticks up 1 finger
Too cheesy *next time u wanna hit on someone, make sure u find out if she has any relatives ownin real estate companies : )

*sticks up a second finger
Too old *I'm sorry but we'r just too different. Plus!Next time u wanna play games, make sure she's not in the toilet, constipated. U deserved the scolding man!!!!Muahahaha~

*sticks up a third
Mmmm...this one dun think counted, juz haf a soft spot for this little boy : ) *it pays to resemble a certain someone : )

And oh yeah, was mistaken for merchandise for window display : ) *okok!Truce truce!Peace, peace!

Friends
I like this year. Caught up and recovered some pple I've not met, or tok to for a very very very very long time.
*Chong Yew, I still owe u a treat
*Marcus, try not to disappear on me ok?
*and Fionie, do not attempt another vanishin act from cyberspace
Old friends resurfaced, while new aquaintances are made.
I guess...2005 gave me the opportunity to meet many different pple, some will become a beautiful, framed picture, frozen in eternity, while some....will hopefully become the type of memories that will always be updated, kinda like a motion picture that nver ends : )

Sometimes, as we grow, friendships...go thru changes too, I prefer to see it as maturing. Because we've already gone thru so many yrs together, althoh our paths may differ, we'll juz give one another time and space for personal growth, and well, nothing essentially changes afterall : ) I even think we're closer this year than when we were all in the same JC together.

Isn't that amazing? (okok, if it's juz me, then juz lemmi live in this self-denial foreva ok?)

I'll still miss u guys when ur not with me,
I'll still share tears and joy with u guys,
We'll still bitch like no tomorrow about gossips, guys(cute ones), life and yeah, plannin somebody's wedding

And of cos, my guitar (okok,dew's guitar)
sweetheart, may we go a long long way~

Happy new year : )

I used to think that I was the stupidest, most devoted person alive.

Well, apprently, I just haven't met enuf people yet.

Wat is 3yrs+ as compared to 8?

2yrs and still counting, hmm.... well, u'r almost catching up, brother.

*sighs

Guess, I'm gonna hafta take 3rd place soon.

Good night, fairy, it's high time u sleep b4 u start blabbering nonsense.

Bed Of Roses
Bon Jovi

Sitting here wasted and wounded at this old piano
Trying hard to capture the moment this morning I don't know
'Cause a bottle of vodka is still lodged in my head
And some blond gave me nightmares
I think she's still in my bed
As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead

With an ironclad fist I wake up and french kiss the morning
While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head
While we're talking about all of the things that I long to believe
About love and the truth and what you mean to me
And the truth is baby you're all that I need

I want to lay you on a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on bed of roses

Well I'm so far away
That each step that I take is on my way home
A king's ransom in dimes I'd given each night
Just to see through this payphone
Still I run out of time
Or it's hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I'll just close my eyes and whisper,
baby blind love is true

The hotel bar hangover whiskey's gone dry
The barkeeper's wig's crooked
And she's giving me the eye
I might have said yeah
But I laughed so hard I think I died

When you close your eyes
Know I'll be thinking about you
While my mistress she calls me
To stand in her spotlight again
Tonite I won't be alone
But you know that don't
Mean I'm not lonely I've got nothing to prove
For it's you that I'd die to defend

I know it's an old old bon jovi song, but I heard it again, and realised just how much I like the song : )

Not as much as Jason Mraz's I'm yours though : p

There is this Pasar Malam near my place. And today, as I alighted from the bus, I had this sudden sinful craving for Taiwan Sausages. And as I was in my weight-loss-frenzy-state, I was having a tough time waging an internal battle.

Thank goodness for divine intervention.

Divine intervention came in the form of an ordinary man, I guess in his early twenties.
Not extremely good-looking, nor was he grotesquely ugly.

Just ordinary.
Someone whom I wouldn't normally have noticed.

But what he did was very extraordinary.

What I did was even more extraordinary.

I would even consider it insane.

He had one hand hidden behind his back, which, I would guess that he was trying to stuff his wallet into his back pocket. But his other hand...

His other hand was holding a transparent plastic bag,
which was fogged up by the steam of the Taiwan Sausage,
which is placed very coincidentally

in front of his crotch.
with the sausage right-where-it-belongs

At other times, I would have turned my head away and laughed secretly, but today,

I just looked at the sausage,
then into his eyes,
and smiled.

Maybe it is the fact that a little fren of mine, whom I am especially protective of,
was made upset by this other fren.
Maybe it is the kopi-session, or rather teh-session that I had with a not-so-little fren prior to going home

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

If there's no way to take a dig at the intended people, without humiliating others more,
than take it on someone who belongs to the same species.

I'm sorry Mr-sausage-man, ur just an innocent. I apologise for causing u any embarrassment.

*executes a bow

Well, at least I had a narrow escape from putting on a few pounds tonight : )

Taiwan sausage anyone?

This Christmas I spent it with my bunch of close friends
This Christmas I'm touched when old friends contacted me
This Christmas I felt warmed.

This Christmas I also told my mum that I'm growing up and she should realise that.

She refused.

Well, Merry Christmas.
May I have a better New Year : )

Never ever be nice to ur friends. Noone appreciates it.

"Heh.I scared network jam 2ml, so Merry Christmas!"

"Christmas is on Sunday" came one reply

"So early ah?" came another.
I shall not even mention the others.

Esp those who did not even deign to reply.

Haiz~

"Arn't u proud to have a kiasu fren like me?"I retorted

only to have it thrown back in my face as an answer, to a very simple question which he just refuses to answer.
And yet deny that he refuse to answer.

"Arn't u glad to have a fren like me to keep u entertained?"

Arghhhhh!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYYYYY

At least someone bothered to call me tonight to wish me a merry christmas. Hahaha~

ok, maybe he was just bored in camp.


*Gasp

Maybe I just imagined it.

P.S Adam wished me back. He is a sweet boy.

We were playing at Mind's Cafe today, and as usual, when this bunch of us got together,

classic.

We were playing Taboo,

"The guy who dumped Jas"

"Bastard" came the unanimous reply.
We didn't miss a beat.

"No, not that word! Another one!!"

"Jerk" came the second unanimous reply.

Haiya!Taboo!!Chicken feet lah!!!!
*Smirks

"Ms Choong likes to go for this!!Four letter one!"

Without thinking, "F**K!"

And it was a loud one.
It was about 3.30pm and there were only two groups of people at the cafe....

By the way, the answer was "hike". Thank goodness someone has the brillience of mind to anticipate this and not ask the teachers along : p

I cannot imagine how many times we've to "down" if she were around.
Probably more than the time when I was doing the budget proposal.

That was 250 freaking push-ups mind u.

Oh!Oh!

Honeybunny drives!

I repeat

Honeybunny drives!

Not very well, but he drives nonetheless. He drove us from PS to Ang Mo Kio.

And it took about an hour.

I was sitting in the front seat and it just occurred to me.
This is the first 19-yr-old that I know who has his own car.

Not his Dad's.
Not his Mum's.
But his own car.

How soon will there be more people my age owning such luxury?
How soon will we really start entering society and really assuming the status "adult"?
How soon when we eventually grow up to become the slaves of "materialism"?

I guess it scares me, how quickly we are all growing up.
That same thought that struck me last Sunday when the band people met up.

I guess there's just something about meeting up with friends whom U've not seen for a long time that triggers that terrifying reality.

Anyway, while we were riding in Honeybunny's car, I asked him where he got his car loan from.

"If it's HSBC, maybe I'll even get to process ur loan!!!!" I was really excited.

I mean, how often do u get to process ur friend's car loan?!!!!!

okok, when I put it down into words, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but, but!I was really excited!

"No, lah, not HSBC"

Guess which bank was his car loan with?
Right, that god-forsaken one.

"What!That god-forsaken one!No way!!!Why!!!!!"

There is a perfectly good reason why I wouldn't want any of my friends to have a loan with that certain bank. That certain bank with the certain yellow tiger head as a logo, and located at a certain dilapidated Textile Centre along Jalan Sultan.

We toss our cheques into this forgotten corner, which we so lovingly termed "the black hole"
And, no one ever comes looking for them.

Ever so frequently, like at least once a day, we will see our officers running around the about-to-collapse office looking for missing Tan Chong cases.

The ultimate has to be the cleaning lady.
The bane of everyone's existence.
And the leading lady in everyone's nightmare.

Go pantry boil water (becos there wasn't a single drop of it left for drinking anymore, and we are all dying of thirst) kena scold.

Arrive early for work, cleaning up own work desk, kena scold

Even pick up litter on the floor for her, also kena scold

I swear, she must be crazy.

Where was I?Oh right, the inefficiencies.

Only after what, 6 months? Then a discreet check was carried out.
How long more do we have to wait to know the status of the loan?

Hello? Can they get any less efficient?

"No, Honeybunny, u cannot, u cannot have a loan with them!"

"I've got no choice. It comes with the car."

Honeybunny, why can't u get a toyota or lexus?
Haiz~

When I first got to know u, I was wrong about u. I thought u were strong on the outside and weak on the inside. Therefore I had to protect and care for u.
But as I got to know u, I realised that u were strong on the inside as well.

But she's different. She really needs someone to love, care and protect her.
And I'm willing to be the one to give her all that...

Men.

Don't worry, it didn't happen to me. I was quoting from the ch 8 dancing show.
Rest well my friends, if someone ever tried to gimmi that, I'll poke his eyes out, and force- feed him with it.

I mean, wat's wrong with u people? Insecured?

*makes a face

(&^%#$#@&^)(&


But then again, perhaps wat I told my girlfren two nights ago (after watching perhaps love, Perhaps Love!Oh my god....one heck of a show.Reminder to self- write a review on it.) was right,
the bliss of love, of being together with the one u love for all of time,
is something that is only meant for simple, silly people who doesn't think too much.

Or rather, who doesn't think at all.

Love is probabably not meant to be complicated.
It was probably created to be simple and comprehensible.

Girl enjoys boy's company.
Boy enjoys girl's.

Throw in a pinch of lust and there u have it- LOVE.

But as people 'evolve' (Think Mr Richard Benjamin Ananth), emotions, like viruses, mutate.

And the more complicated a person gets, the more complicated love gets.
And the more complicated it gets, the more elusive it becomes, until eventually, it just turns into something ugly.

Just last night I heard a living testimony to this theory of mine.

A friend was telling me what one mutual friend said to her.

Mutual friend "A", let's call him Mr. A, was telling this friend of mine about his ideal "wife".

"I want a simple girl, with simple thoughts, doesn't chiong, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, an ordinary girl, naive,
innocent, etc.etc.etc. "

See wat I mean?
It actually pays to be stupid.

Oh mother! Why didn't u drop me on the head a little bit harder?

Motivation comes in the form of a 3-letter word that is every girl's paranoia coming true!!!!!

Hellooooooooooo Blog!

It's been a really long time. Anyway, juz wanted to do a quick update.

My guitar's looking at me in a very forlorn manner. Think he needs attention.Ok, so chop chop!!

Heh.

Some peole are really bent on driving me into depression by associating me with the forbidden 3-letter word that I've almost almost forgotten.

Practice some restraint!And I'll be more than happy!!!!

I do have mirrors at home. Full length ones, thank u very much.
And I do have a weighing scale too.

So stop harping on the obvious!!!Damn it.

Talk about depression.

*Sighs dramatically

The JB air did good for me. Think there's some alcoholic content in the air. I gotta admit, I was behaving rather weirdly after 7. So if I freaked some people out, I'm terribly sorry.

No guess wat? I'm not. I think they were more amused than freaked out. haha~

I guess....work's kinda crazy recently. Heck, the world's kinda crazy recently.

So, I guess going somewhere unfamiliar did me good. Or maybe it's the food. Cheap, huge quantity, and good. And i do mean goooooooood.

Oh sigh!12 laps 12 laps....okok...I know.

I came up with this theory yesterday. It was a stroke of genius.

I think diet is tough work. And it should too follow the working hours stipulated by our dear government, should it not? So if U only work 5 days a week, which I personally think is too much already. Now if u vote me as president, I shall reverse it and Singaporeans will only need to work weekends : p

I was kidding. Don't close down my blog.

Oh I was saying, yah, work 5 days a week, shouldn't u just give urself a break and indulge in the sinful gloriousness of food and chocolates and oily deep-fried stuff on the weekends? Yum yum

Heaven knows we deserve it.

Thus, indulging in these on weekends won't make u put on the extra pounds. It just won't be right if u do

*smirks

Speaking of food, ran into some dumb dumbs yesterday at the Malaysian causeway. Haha~

Some one, told some people that he and his brawny boys are going into kukup to eat seafood early early one Saturday, so can't make it to JB with some people.

Then lo and behold!! Some people actually witnessed the embarrassing scene of some brawny boys queueing at the foreign passports lane and was turned away at the customs to re-queue.

Tsk tsk *shakes head sadly. Mojojojo was right about commandos after all.

Dodos.

Finishing the last page of the book, The devil wears Prada, she closed it, lightly setting it down on the table, and smiled. She then made her way to her wretched computer and began tapping away.

A series of unfortunate events is the phrase describe my life lately. I guess I was right when I told a friend some time ago that I think life is one long, enduring, draggy nightmare that is punctuated by the occasional dreams and even more rare wakefulness.

I think I'm at the wakefulness stage right now.

Maybe it's the book, or maybe it's the meeting up with six girls whom I've not seen in a very very long time that woke me up.

The book is about the life of your average fresh out of college girl at her first job. She works as an assistant to this big-shot fashion guru.

"It's a job a million girls would die for"

It was hell.

Many times, in many points of our lives, we get carried away, as was the case with the protagonist.
As was the case with me, for awhile. We drive in the fast lane, so consumed with new experience, new people that often times, we lose sight of our initial priorities, things that really matter to us

: )

One week, I was down with a case of doctor- diagnosed- stomach flu, and self-diagnosed- Internt Withdrawal Syndrone. My mind took a break as my body rested. But even after I've used up my MC and returned to work, I wasn't exactly myself.

I don't know if anyone else noticed. But it has been bugging me for awhile, and well, I finally found out why.

Meeting up with the girls, hit me that alot has changed since college. People grow, not necessarily happier, but grow up, nonetheless. The world we see thru our eyes is very different now. The people we meet are very different now. No longer are we the naive, innocent fools that we used to be.

Well, at least I no longer announced loudly and apologise for farting : p

What is the point in this entry?
Actually, I don't really know myself, I just know that I'm suddenly feeling happier, clearer headed, and I guess,

I just wanted to remind myself once again, of the people that matter to me, and of whom, I matter to.

Maybe I just wanted to remind myself once again of what is really important to me, and not to neglect people who really really matter.

Or maybe, I'm only trying to remind some very busy people about their initial priorities and not to be so caught up in all the goings-on that they lose sight of what is really important.

Or maybe, just maybe,

Maybe only ah,

I just wanted to write something so that my blog doesn't look so deserted.