As I was checking my email, I saw this reply from the boyfriend:

Dear silly girlfren,

Haha. Below shall be an analysis for ur horoscope: mine (comments) in blue!

CANCER - The Beauty - hmm.. more of a sweetie lah. ha.
> MOST AMAZING KISSER.. -no wonder i'm feeeling amatuer this few times..

Very high appeal - true, else i will not have chosen silly girl

. A Cancer's Love
> is one of a kind.. Very romantic.. Most caring person you

> will ever meet in your life -haha, ok.. true to some extent.. credit to the herbal tea

. Entirely creative Person,
> most are artists

and insane, -this one fully agreed, the author for this horoscope is xiang huh? very zhun leh.

respectfully speaking. They
> perfected sex and do it often. - ORH. Noted. HAHA.

Extremely random. An
> Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of
> the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and

> into their hearts where you will remain forever. - the horoscope author is cancerian oso huh? say until got dragon got tiger leh haha. k i choose to believe.

Cancers
> make love with a passion beyond compare.

Spontaneous. - ok this word looks familiar... ha.

Not
> a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to

> it. Someone you should hold on to! - yes. surely. =)

12 years of bad luck if
> you do not forward.

regards, boyfren

The boyfriend's turning out to be a pleasant surprise.
And of all the wrongs in my life,
I'm glad to see that I've at least got one thing right.

So last Friday marks the official day
that I made the momentous decision not to extend my contract.
That effectively makes me a part of the 2010 Q1 unemployment statistics.

Although a part of me feels a deep regret
that all the effort and time I've spent for the past 6 - 7 months went unrequited,
a larger part of me felt a deeper relief at throwing off these incessant chains.

I'm starting anew again.

The thought of having to go through the whole painful process of
thoroughly going through job searches one by one,
sending out resumes one by one,
researching companies for interviews and
attending these interviews,
suffering through the hopes to disappointment - all over again....

*Screams in frustration*

But when I look at what is in front of me had I stayed on,
all I saw was a pitch black bleakness.
I gave my word to my ex boss that I would give my best during my stay,
and I kept my word.
I spent a damn 6 months of my life slogging away
and I think I've already kept more than my fair share of the bargain.

It was an exciting roller coaster ride.
And I dare say that despite the short time I've spent in the worst local bank,
I've seen and endured more than what my other fresh grad peers have.
I cannot remember how many times I've cried myself silently to sleep, over work,
and how many times I woke up in sweat in the middle of the night, over work,
not to mention the number of sleepless nights I've suffered, over work.
Contractors are not supposed to carry this much burden,
nor feel that responsible towards their work.

I don't think it's unreasonable to say that I've 1 year working experience
given the things I've seen,
and the people (or monsters) I've met.

I remember about a month back,
my ex boss said to me that she finally saw the light amid all the drama that unfolded.

She told me that some things happen for a reason,
and usually we won't be able to see that until much later.
For her, she would have continued to slog her life away
without realising the magnitude of the things she has been unconsciously giving up.

For me, had the incident not happened,
I would probably be on the way to building a career right now.
There would be some OT, some burnt weekends, a fierce drive to succeed,
and work would probably be all that consumed me.

And then 10 years down the road, I would probably end up like my ex boss,
stabbed and framed and suddenly,
when faced with the light of day,
no longer remember or know what you're fighting for.

But the incident did happen, and things change.
The boyfriend told me that he knows how big an impact
the departure of my ex boss made to me,
but he's glad nonetheless.
Because otherwise, he wouldn't have had the chance he needed.

When I look back at my unpredictable life,
I see the volatility of many ups and downs
that's comparable to equities performance I dare say.
Unfortunately, my downs stood out more than the ups.
And naturally, I was alot more affected by the downs than the ups.
But when I look back at every pit that I've been in,
I see a strong recovery thereafter.
Take my disastrous A's for example,
I made up for it by outperforming in Uni.
But just like equities,
they are meant for strategic rather than tactical investments.
In the long run, they usually yield good returns.

So I think, I'll be just fine.
My life may be a little derailed at the moment,
but I'll make it back on course,
eventually.