It's like a dormant volcano
rumbling, rumbling underneath the calm,
as if patiently, patiently bidding its time.
Confident,
knowing,
certain
that there's an optimum time to blow
leaving the world in shambles.

The Saturday that I've been anticipating forever for came and left.
With that,
I'm faced with the fact that I'm nearer and nearer
to the end of my permitted respite.

Last school semester of my life,
是时候跟它拼了！！
Yes, I'm actually really quite a geeky nerd.

Some things are meant to be fought for,
especially things that I've some semblance of control over.
There are already certain things in life that I no longer have the energy,
nor the belief to fight for.

I noe I noe,
I sound like a weary seventy year old war veteran.
But when you think about it,
doesn't life bear a startling resemblance to a long,
drawn out, never ending war?
One that will only be over when you breathe your last.

As I was saying (before I digressed)
I was counting the days to 04/10/2008.
And up till the day itself,
I really counted the hours, then minutes, then seconds.
I was so hyped up I was singing aloud to my poor lecture buddy
and irritating her the whole day.

And knowing how I always manage to find myself inevitably
right smack in the middle of embarrassing situations,
I found myself right in that familiar spot again.
As usual, I was acting crazy
and last Saturdy while we were approaching our lecture theatre,
I was bellowing “人质” at the top of my lungs,
in full-fledged drama mood, complete with actions and emotions,
entirely caught up in the duo objective of
rehearsing for the concert and irritating wee jie yin at the same time
when suddenly her expression took on one of horrified amusement.
Just as I began to regain my senses,
I saw a familiar figure overtake us from behind.

Of all people,
it just had to be the lecturer of the lecture that we were on the way to attend
and of all places left,
we had to sit in the 3rd row,
right where he can see us ever so clearly.

Congratulations!
You have successfully managed to embarrass yourself,
AGAIN!!!!!

Amei took my breath away later at the concert.
No matter how much revision I've done
(revision= watching her concerts on youtube and familiaring myself with her concert repertoire)
I was still stunned speechless by her amazing vocals
and her moving delivery of songs.
Each and every phrase that comes out of her mouth are so rich with emotions,
so heartfelt, it danced precariously on my raw nerves.
They weren't just on key,
they were all well-packed ammos all on target,
well-aimed at the most vulnerable part of a woman's soul,
verbalising in melodies all the things that we know so well,
the hard truths that are so hard to grapple with.
Then before the bunch of emotional tigers could weep up a storm,
she had us going again,
in an entirely different way.
Before we knew it, we were on our feet screaming,
dancing, bouncing, jumping, light sticks bobbing in a fanatic frenzy.

我真的可以再high三天三夜.

Sometimes I wonder if it's really a generation thing.
Sure, I love the new, modern songs that pop up each and every single day.
Obviously I love ktv-ing new mando pop songs
(I mean, given the frequency of my ktv sessions,
I gotta be grateful for the constant waves of new songs)
Just as obvious, I love the surprise of hearing good new stuff on the english airwaves
but these are temporal.
Very rarely are they able to penetrate beyond the shell to really touch the heart.

Is it really a generation thing?
I'd have thought life and love are universal.
I'd have thought views on them should be similar regardless of the era you belong to.
Similarly good love songs written decades ago should still be good decades later.
Songs and movies that had our parents sobbing over
should still leave us wetting those tissues like there's no tomorrow.
Shouldn't it be so?

Maybe the world really is changing.
So much so that even ideas that should ideally remain constant,
that should remain simple are getting as complicated as the human heart and mind.
Maybe we're all just getting greedier and greedier.
Selfishness for one, is ironically an unchanged constant.
I'm pretty certain that if we were to watch an old classic movie today and saw how
selfishness drives villains to sin,
a part of us will still understand
the part of us that we all try to deny,
can and do feel an affinity for what he/she goes through
why he/she does the things she does.

Maybe the only things that don't change
are those that are stemmed in sins.
Maybe we're all just made to be bad
and there's simply no way out.
It's just that everyone tries so damn freaking hard to be good.
Maybe we shouldn't go against what feels so right afterall.

Just like a red apple, it's red.
It's everything vibrant and oh so sweet on the outside.
But inside, there's the core
that has this natural tendency to turn brown, to grow worms,
to rot once exposed, once it had seen enough of the world.

And just like the aftermaths of an eruption
Burn.... Red hot.
The remnants of liquid fire
Burn.... Red hot.
Eventually it dies down to a dull glow.
You'd think it's ok,
you'd think it's all over now.
You let down your guard and
accidentally, you graced it.
You're shock and you realise then and there
it still burns hot,
throbbing, enduring
raw.