He held out his hand,
he asked her to stay,
on board his sinking ship.

He promises to hold her in his arms
while they sail to the end of the world,
just the two of them.

A lone tear escaped her sad eyes.

It takes a tear to wipe her vision clear
and she sees it now

There is no horizon
where the setting sun and the glimmering sea touch

There is no blue sky where the doves soar
in love
in pairs

The sun and the sea are caught forever in the web of illusion,
for eternity
as tormented as lovers go.

And the doves,
they just hide their tears.

Here's why I haven't been blogging.

1) Have been trying to go sporty

Just the other day we were at a perfume shop at orchard.

lady: which perfume are u currently using?

me: Davidoff

lady:Davidoff is more sporty...wld u like to try sth more feminine?

-_-! ----->tt was the face I get from my girls b4 they burst out laughing!!!


At Sentosa....
when we were still dry

Aftershot of being tossed into the ocean.
I wasn't kidding when I said "toss"




Group shot everyone!!!
At the risk of sounding lesbian, I'm still gonna say this
The girl at the front in the brown bikina and white cap is nose-bleed-gorgeous!!!

2) I've been eating

My only consolation is tt many pple don't know the fact tt fats is lighter than muscles.

He: How heavy are u?
me(gives him the evil eye):U say leh?
He: Let me think,just now I carried u.....45kg?
me (smiles sweetly): If u say so :)




What's left of OG 4


3) I've been busy being domesticated.

The guys in my OG were complainin tt I'm too fierce and demanding
when all I've asked of them is to peel me prawns.

So, to prove them wrong,
I've gathered my usual girls to my humble abode
to embark on this noble endeavour.....

Cheesecakes!!!!
On the left: strawberry lemon cheesecake
On the right: oreo cheesecake

In order to remain objective, I shall not comment on the taste.



4) I've been busy filming the next installation of SAW.


5) My girls and I were busy digging out and putting our stomachs at risk in order to uncover the truth behind the very famous paper-wrap-chicken near our SIM campus.

Ok...Truth be told, this pic does look abit haunted.

This is the sign they haf at the entrance,

a testimony to their popularity.

The chicken!!!!

And it's damn good!!!

Here's a tantalising peek-a-boo pic.

Right,

so after evaluating the above evidence, I think to be forgiven for not bloggin.

Lol~

Oh man, I stink really bad.

Anyway, since everyone's blogging abt the show,
thot I cld say sth too.

I caught The Devil Wears Prada a few days ago with my girls,
yes...in the hell-to-pay-for red shoes.

I thot it is a realistic portrayal of the contrast between the life that all girls dream abt,
and the real life between that glamorous facade.

Everything comes with a price,
and often,
the pricetag is not worth the good itself.

I personally prefer the novel thoh,
the show is still...too much of a fairytale.

Anyway,
the show still managed to deliver the msg tt as pple grow up,
and begin to acquaint themselves with beautiful luxuries
with the symbols of status,
they ideally, of cos,
shd not,
be lured away from the right path into sin.

And Meryl Streep rocks my socks off!!

So, there's no complaint on my side.

*shrugs*

Speaking of growing up,
I had the greatest surprise on Monday.

A few weeks back,
one of the trainers,
Andrew, called me, askin me to help out with his program.

The thought "bloody hell" crossed my mind immediately.

U see,
between working 5 nights a week and studying 3 days a week,
I barely have time for myself.

Moreover, my last experience running a program with pri sch kids sucks to the core.

However, I just cldn't say "no" over the ph.

Call me a coward.

I just don't know how to reject pple when they talk to me personally,
esp when they are so nice abt it!!

So I offered my help.

It was an all girls sch this time round,
and as usual,
they were all gaga-ing over a certain someone's boyfren,
oh, and Lye's sons and nephews too.

Ok, I admit, I was one of those girls too.

Wat the hell!!20 liao still join the kids!
^%&%$%

BUT!!!!I was more cool and discreet abt it,
of cos.

Anyway,
that's not the main story.

Oh, ok, it's linked to the main story.

Because it's an all girls sch,
and the teachers are...almost all female.

The sch seemed to breed a strong feminist environment.
According to what some of the girls tell me,
talkin abt "boys" is prohibited,
they'd get a counselling session with the teachers if they ever tok abt boys.

Hello?Like not even Singapore Idol boys can?

I'm serious!!
Imagine my shock.
They were conditioned to think a certain way,
to behave a certain way,
to despise certain behaviours.

I did think some of the teachers are bitches who swallow little innocent kids for breakfast thoh.

I mean, what the hell were they thinkin socialising kids into a certain mould?

They shd understand tt everyone is different.

And hello? What's wrong with being interested in the opp gender?

With teachers repressing kids, no wonder there's homosexuals in single sex sch.

It's super irritaing,
esp when they try to interfere with my facilitation.

We were having our final debrief,
and I've been working myself into the ground to get them to open up to me,

hello?
yours truly went as far as to play catchin with them in order to build rapport can?
and yours truly got laughed at by her fellow facilitators when she returned all sweaty and breathless

of cos urs truly laughed right back at them when the feedback forms came back.

the kids were brillient,
the things they were tellin me,
I never knew 10 yr-old kids cld be so matured.

"So, share with me, one thing which u realise today"

"I learnt...teamwork"

"ok, tt's great!But cheh cheh is dumb, can explain to me what abt teamwork tt u learn today?"

They were callin me aunty initially,
wat the hell!Until I told them tt very firmly that I will not ans to that.

She smiled and very shyly explained to me

"I learnt tt teamwork is not easy."

"Why is tt so?"

"Because to work as a team, we have to be open. And it's very hard to be open if u don't like the person. I learnt tt when I kept opposing her, scolding her for not coorperating, I myself am not coorperating too, cos I don't like her, and like tt aircraft game, I shouted at her when she crushed the paper, when it's a very very good idea."

I cld hug her and kiss her till the end of time!!

"Tt's very impressive. Come, cheh cheh give u a sweaty hug!"

She flew into my arms.

Kids are just so open and lovely.

I don't remember getting such open response in so short a time in older kids.
In fact, their fave reply to me wld be to shrug their shoulders and tell me that they don't know.

Courage is sth tt disappears as we get older.

"What abt u? Share with me one thing u found really useful"

"The win-win thing."

"Ok, remember, cheh cheh is dumb, u haf to explain"

she giggled.

"I realised tt I am quite selfish. And it's true. When I wanna get sth, I always believe tt in order for me to win, the other person has to lose. I haf never thot of workin together to achieve the goal b4. Cheh cheh, I didn't know teamwork is so chim!!Everything can be teamwork!!Eh!I think I am tokin abt openness...."

she looks to me for approval.

"No, ur not selfish, ur brave for admitting that. and ur right, everything can be teamwork. Actually, openness is part of teamwork as well, don't be afraid of getting it wrong. There's no right or wrong here. Come cheh cheh give u monster sweet."

*smiles in remembrance* I cld tok abt their responses forever.

Among the many astonishing revelations I heard,
the one tt made me drop my jaw has to be the case of this girl trying to facilitate the girl whom the whole group is against.

The thing is,
like I said,
these girls are not allowed to tok abt boys.
And as it happens, there is this one girl who is more...verbal.
So she is tellin me abt her fave Joakim *pukes*,
and how cute someone's bf is,
besides tt, she's also very very very touchy,
(I shall not elaborate, but I was kinda freaked out)
and quite uncoorperative.

So this other girl,
started to very seriously tok to this uncoorperative girl.

"Why do u choose to behave like that?"

"I don't noe. I'm just lidat wat."

"No, U haf a choice. Like I had a choice. I can be mean to u, and ignore u, but I can also try to tok to u, and try to understand why ur behaving this way. I'm choosing to be open minded"

The uncoorperative girl kept silent and began playing with the stones on the floor.
I just sat watching them.
They were so wonderful I didn't have to even butt in.

"If I try to be nice to u, will u try to be nice too?"

She kept silent and shrugged.

"If u go on like this, nobody will like u. Don't u know tt the whole class hates u?"

She nodded. Still silent.

I was holding my breath.
The girls were doing what we call "clearing" all by themselves!
I was waitin for the other girl to breakdown.

"Girls!What are u all gossipping abt? U all r supposed to do the worksheet u noe? So write down wat u learnt!"

The girls started to drop their heads and began to write on their worksheets,
meaningless terms like "help each other","be focused", "strive for perfection"

I was struggling to contain my anger while the teacher nodded her head in approval
and threw them somemore stupid terms like

"have a goal"

"determination and perseverence"

"knowledge"

I wanted to strangle her!
I wanted to poke her beady eyes!

She actually nodded her head in approval of such superficial platitudes!!!

Her, and her american accent.
Her, and her shriek of

"OH!Look what he msged me?!!" as she turned to the other female teacher and burst into excited giggles.

Talk abt double standards.

*utter disgust*

As the kids learn abt themselves,
I realised tt,
as adults (or young adults),
we often disregard the things kids say,
cos we ourselves have this stubborn belief that just because we have greater life experiences,
we are superior to them,
thus, we are always right.

We always tell them tt doing this is wrong,
that is wrong,
but have we ever given them credit for doing what is right?

When we tell them tt it is wrong,
are they really wrong?
Or are we just basing the justification of what is wrong and right by our own narrow standards?

We refute them.

We discredit their views,
and in doin so,
robbing them of the respect that they so deserve as well.

Talk abt respect.

Have we truly respected them?

Their intelligence?
Their candidness?
Their unaffectedness?

Althoh we do have greater life experieces,
I think we often forget that,
because of these life experiences,
we also build up a wall of pride,
and it is this fortress that blinds us to our mistakes,
this thing that disallows us to admit and acknowledge our weaknesses.

And I think,
this alone,
make them even bigger than what we are.

Lessons learnt:

What looks good on the outside,
is often not so on the inside.

Remember the gorgeous the-devil-wears-prada-red-shoes?
They are hell to look at,
and there's also hell to pay for wearing them

*rubs sore, blistered feet in regret*

Impulse buying always hurt.

Never overestimate oneself

Thinkin that I am superior to Zee in fighting the effects of caffeine
wrought havoc on my system.

Never ever, consume a whole tall glass of coffee by myself after 6pm,
no matter the temptation.

It is horrible tossing and turning in bed all night,
staring at the ceiling while the whole world sleeps on.
It feels horribly lonely!!

And it's a freaking waste to sleep the rest of the next day away to make up for it.

Kids are lovely in their outrageous ways.

More elaboration on that after my morning jog

I mean, evenin jog.

I forgot that only my world stops.

Time never stops.

This is the mugu theory

According to the theory,
there is a standard pattern that underlines the type of females that males go for as they age.

The theory states that there are generally three main stages.

The 1st stage is commonly known as sprouting.
Males in this stage are mainly aged between 12-16.
During this period in life,
the kind of relaionships that they will go into with the opposite gender
is characterised purely by an obscure desire to just spend time together.
The activities most engaged in at this stage are mostly healthy and simple ones.
The emotions most evoked are almost always linked with joy.

The 2nd stage is what sociologist dugu call budding.
The average males, in this stage are mainly between the age of 17-25.
During this period in life,
the kind of motivation that underlines the male psyche is one of pride.
To put it simply, males in this stage of life,
will pursue the kind of females who sparked off physical attraction.
Common behaviours and terms to describe males who are in this stage include
bastards, jerks, and assholes.
The activities most engaged in at this stage are mostly repulsive, vain, and embarrassing.
The emotions most evoked are almost always confusing and contradictory.

After males grow out of the 2nd stage, they will enter a stage called blooming.
In this stage,
the average males have already developed enough sense and will disregard
empty physical attraction.
The male intellect would have progressed and matured enough to appreciate the importance and simplicity of characters.

This is probably why they say males are at their prime when they are 30.

Many argued against the mugu theory.
Dissenters believed that the classification of the age group is vastly inaccurate.
The most common argument states that the budding stage cannot be defined by age,
as it is more concerned with the development of inner maturity and emotions.
Some men never grow out of the budding stage, others simply bypass it.
There is also another minority group whose behaviours contradicts the theory completely.

Of cos, these factors were contemplated seriously by the young sociologists
as they sat on the bench outside paragon while they carried out their research.

They understood the complexity of the idiosyncracies of men.
Therefore, they strongly urge all to merely use their newly discovered mugu theory as a loose framework to understand the male psyche when it comes to boy-girl-relationships.

This is a testimony that Singapore truly is a small country with nothing much to do.

It was a Saturday night,
and my girlfriend and I have already combed the streets of Orchard countless times.
We've also made a few purchases,
ate quite a few things,
and oh!!

We found this really delightful lamp at a shop in Heeren.

It works by motion sensor.
I think it was on TV b4.
It's this lamp that is shaped like a conical flask,
and u switch on and off the lamb by moving ur hand right or left
U can also increase or decrease the intensity by moving ur hand up and down.

COOL~~~~

There was really nothing left for us to do.

Zee and I have already crazily snapped pics of a yellow lamborg, bitched about the owner's girlfriend for about 45 minutes.






























I have already bought a pair of shoes,
which Zee insists was inspired by The Devil Wears Prada,

and I'm resisting the urge to purchase a soft white pair.

Zee had already bought a pair of Levi's and has headed off to work.

Mu had already bought a pair of Levi's and was walking beside me
on the streets of Orchard,
for like the third time in a day.

We ended up sitting down by the side of the walkway outside paragon, and we talked.

And what do girls talk about when they are alone?

*laughs out loud*

Obviously,
we talked about guys.
about the guys from our past,
about the guys in our lives now,
about the guys we imagine to be in our future.
about our thoughts and dreams.

Girls can be such bitches.
What they want and need can seem so deceptively simple.

It's been a long long time since I last had the chance to just sit down and talk to her.
She hasn't really changed,
maybe a little more matured.
With the things that happened in her life,
and the complicated feelings and situation that is in existence now.....

I think I have girlfriends who are exceptionally courageous,
both of them.

I know that if I were in their situation,
hurhur.
I'd take the easy way out.

She says that right now,
she prefers to be with someone whom she doesn't like,
she prefers to be with someone whom she is attracted to,
who makes her laugh,
makes her happy,
Like a certain Mister in her life right now.

It hurts to know that both of them are suffering from the same wound.
And that guy in question has no idea what is going on.

It bothers me that,
I can do nothing about it.
As much as I wish to be able to do something about it,
I know, there is nothing to be done,
at least to make things better.

Damn it.

The healing will be done in time.
And a few years down the road,
the only hurt that they'll feel, is the one on their pride.
everything else will be forgotten,
at least feelings will fade in their intensity.
It will become a funny memory in time to come.
Embarrassing memory of youth.
There will come a time when they'll look back
and they'll wonder why the hell they even bother to cry for him.

Hurhur.
Been there, done that, even have the scars to prove it.

The only difference is....
both of them will have the same brand of scar to laugh over.

Like I said last night,
she and I,
are similar in more ways than one.

We like customer svc,
we like shopping,
we like to analyse things.

we like long bus rides,
we like old chang kee,
and we both look like fat old goats in levi's.

Despite our share of similarities,
we do have our distinct differences.

Althoh what,
I can't really put into words,
but we do,
and it's distinct.

Oh ok, I write better than her.

:X

A fren shared this with me last saturday.

He: why do women menopause earlier than men?
Me (confused) : do men even menopause? Men don't have menses eh!!
He (rolls eyes): it's because men don't grow past their adolescence.

Men don't grow past their adolescence.

Damn, mugu theory needs improvement.

So, I finally met him....

She's this girl-woman who's always telling me that she will never find someone
after her own heart again.
She's always telling me that the person she's ever truly fallen for is this guy whom she met in Poly.
She's always so strong and independent,
despising pple, men especially if they are not as hard as her.

When I saw the both of them last night,
I was touched.

Funnily, I felt on the verge of tears.

I felt....
genuinely happy for her,
but somehow,
it's tainted with something tt I can't identify.

They feel right,
but there's just this nagging feeling
that bothers me.

It feels like,
when one is in the eye of a tornado.
Everything is peaceful and calm,
but there's just this premonition that somewhere on the horizon,
something stronger is brewing.

It's complicated with pple whose definition of love is much more complex
than the average ones that u are familiar with.

He's a divorcee
and she doesn't believe in marriage.

I guess u cld call them a match-made in heaven.

Personally,
I call it a tragically match-made in heaven.

I'm someone who believes in love and marriage.
I'm traditional.
Or, in their words

"You watch too much Korean dramas"

Put it anyway u like.

U cld call me naive
u can call me idealistic

Or,
u can laugh in my face

like what they did when I told them that
I was bothered when I saw pple who are attached (not to each other)
rubbing against each other when clubbing.

I wasn't lying when I said that I haven't liked anyone in a long long time.
I wasn't lying when I said that the guys in sch turns me off.
I wasn't lying when I said that I feel like everyone in sch's not being honest.

Call me starry-eyed, but
I believe in happily-ever-after.

Just like I prefer to take a long bus ride instead of hoppin onto the convenience of MRT.
Just like I prefer the library to the clubs.

I am starry-eyed.

And this starry-eyed girl was thinking,
as she sat alone in the long ride home last night,

What cld've happened if this fren of hers cld've met him earlier,
and he, her.

Cld things haf been different?

As much as this fren says she never wants to be tied down in marriage,
she finds it hard to believe that for someone whose face lights up then she sees kids,
to not want a family of her own to
love and to care for.

I've always wished,
that her someone special
is someone who can put the sparkle back in her eyes
and make her see the world as a happier,
friendlier place.

Notice the blue sky,
greenery and flowers
instead of the cigarette buds on the floor.

I felt like by being together with him,
she's cheating herself out of something she truly deserves.

Maybe that's the something that puts the sadness in the whole situation.

She's happy,
and I guess that's all that matters.

They think that my mentality is such,
because of youth.

Maybe one day,
10 years later,
I'll adopt their thinking.

I just might prefer the speed and comfort of the MRT to the bus.

Maybe 10 yrs down the road,
u'll catch me kissing a married man.

I just might prefer the convenience of having my own car to
accomodating the locations and operating hours of the MRT.

Maybe when I'm tired of living life by the rules,
I just might decide to just throw my morals and idealism away.

But for now,
I still like my public bus.

She's happy,
I'm happy for her.

And that's all that matters.