D= Domineering
I= Influencing
S= Steady (I personally call them the Slackers)
C= Conscientious

I was sharing a little of how my two days workshop went, with dear ewe earlier today.
And she told me "Profiling is not good eh. It gets pple stuck"

Dear Ewe, it's the mindset that gets pple stuck.
Profiling is just a tool.
It's how u use it.

If u use tt to classify pple, and interact in the best way possible with pple,
wouldn't tt help in human relations with the person involved?

If u know about ur own profile, ur own limitations and strengths,
wouldn't tt help to improve ur behaviours?

And if u know about urself and others,
wouldn't leveraging on each others' strengths help in achieving success?

The workshop was over, and it's time to sit down for some reflection.
I didn't get a chance to do a detailed debrief with Ryan and Sheena on Tuesday cos well, Bird, had to rush off, and I felt uncomfortable without her.

I noticed tt.

And it bothers me.

It bothers me that I'm too risk-assessing.
I don't take enough risks in life and sometimes, in doing so, I've missed out on alot of things.
In doing so, I've also set myself up for failure and devastation, so to speak.

What happened on Mon was that, I felt as though I did a terrible job.
The Cs are not moving, and my group was not responding,
and I took it upon myself tt I was a rotten facilitator.
I felt so rotten, and yeah, I beat myself up so bad, I cldn't function,
I left the room.

What really happened was that they are Cs. Cs are like that.
They do not move.
They do not respond.
Cos well, it's a risk to them.
And what I did, I engaged in self-criticism.

Because I fear criticism,
I self-criticised.
In this way, the goodie I get,
is reassurance, compliments, absolution.
I give myself the worst shit so that others will not.
And in doing that, I pulled down my own confidence and morale.

What I could have done,
is well, practise what I preached.
Adopt a more "I" or "D" approach when the situation calls for it,
catch myself whenever I lapse into C-mode.

Take more risks.
I spent quite some time thinking of why I only became more "D" and "I" in the 2nd day.

Day 2 we combined groups, and I had Fauzi with me.
In a way, I felt that things cldn't get worst with Fauzi ard.
I can just go ahead and take a risk,
plunge head first into new ideas and get the hell out of my comfort zone,
cos, if things go wrong, Fauzi can pick up the pieces after me : x

And also, I realised that what held me back from adopting a "D" behaviour was that I was struggling between my "C" and "I" element.
I want the task completed,
but at the same time,
I do not want to push too hard and be rejected.
It's a struggle between pple and task, for me.
I could have sat down and calmly prioritise what I want to create.

I could have taken grounding more seriously.

3 actions I will take for the 2-day workshop next week
1) Think carefully about what I want to create, and stick with my declaration.
2) Be more aware of my own experience. Self facilitation is the best facilitation.
3) Take a risk and just go with my guts. Over-analysis can go kiss my ass.

Alright!! Debrief done. Case filed and closed :)