A woman forgives, but she never forgets.
She forgives really easily, but she doesn't forget.

She thought she got over it, but tonight, when it was brought up again,
she found herself perilously close to tears.

There was a time when she wished that he never calls, cos she wasn't sure she could be professional about it.
And she knows, if she lost it in front of him, she would get the "I told u so", which she hated with all her might.

But he did, and she did maintain her composure.
She was proud of that.

And then, she slowly began to return to her normal happy self.
She even managed to lunch with him, and even enjoy his company.

But tonight, she remembered again, the betrayal she felt.
She remembered the anger, so vividly, she saw her hand tremble, felt her body shaking.
She remembered what she went thru.
She remembered the internal battle she went thru.
She remembered the wait, the look on her boss's face,
the hope
the opportunity that seemed so within her grasp,
and she remembered the depressing days as hope diminishes,
she remembered the humiliation she went thru,

the look on her boss's face.

She remembered the misery when she felt that she betrayed her boss,
the boss whom she genuinely liked and respected,
the boss whom she felt genuinely appreciated her.
She remembered how bad she felt when her boss still remained as good to her.

And she started thinkin of revenge.
She started thinkin of things to say to him, to make him feel bad
to make him experience at least half of what she went thru.
to make him feel guilty
to make him regret

She really considered it.

And then she remembered the situation at that time,
and she saw him as someone betrayed.
She saw him as someone who became very cautious
unwilling to risk
She saw him as someone who was determined to be professional
and make sound decisions

and then she just decided, to let it be.
She just decided that life is just that, opportunities coming and going.
She might have lost a stepping stone, but along the way, opportunities will surface again,
and she will make damn sure she grabs everyone of them.

It was a long bus ride home.
And that's why she likes taking long bus rides alone.

It clears the mind.