I was horrified. I am still horrified. Today, I found out that one of my fave blogger actually closed down her blog. Fionieeeeee~Why!!!!I love ur blog!!!!(ok, like as if she will know how much I liked it)

Just last night I was chatting with a sweet fren on msn, telling her tt I'm entertaining thots of starting another blog. And this time, it will be annonymous. No pics, no names. Just my most honest, intimate thoughts (as horrifying as it may sound). It is simply too tiring to care, to bother about wat others think. I mean, there is no such thing as only one side to a person. There is the quietly pensive side, the emotionally unstable side, the insanely wacky side, ridiculously angry side, and the only way for people to actually give in to all these impulses freely,

is to remain annonymous.

Someone pointed out to me yesterday that the way I write seemed different from the way I used to. She said that she enjoyed reading my archives alot more.

Unfortunately, I agree as well.

I think, as more and more pple get to know of my blog, it puts me under tremendous pressure, and I cave. I am no longer true to myself. No, I think I prefer the way my sweet fren put it "selectively hypocritical". No, maybe I prefer the way I put it "wonderfully subtle". hahaha~look who's full of shit? Certainly NOT the one poking his teddy bear. wahahaha~

k serious serious.

I think sometimes, people juz don't know wat it means to be satisfied. Wants, unlimited desires, greed, the motivation to capitalism. But then again, a worthy motivation indeed.

Then again,

Why are we motivated by greed?
Why are we motivated by the seven deadly sins in the first place?

Anyway, I strayed, my topic tonight is "blogging"

A typical blogger goes thru this phase:

Annonymity- where she writes as and when she wants, where inspiration overflows bcos she knows no boundaries. Annonymity wat, wat's there to lose?

But then, sad to say, such joy never last. Soon, she blog surfs, sees many other blogs, listens to many others tok abt their precious blogs.

And she loses the courage to stand firm. She too, craves such recognition. Like

"What the hell!He/She can't even write properly loH!!!Might as well read my blog can!"

And she tells. Bcos deep down, she is still human. And when she receives compliments, abt wat a gr8 job she does with her blog, her ego starts working up, and she tells some more.

Then, one bright and sunny day, she suddenly recalls tt pple know abt this blog of hers, and she realises the potential it has to be a "messenger" to tell ppl things she doesn't dare to say to them face to face.

She uses it as such.And she began to see how useful a blog cld actually be.
And she tells somemore.

Eventually, she tells and she tells and she tells, and falls deeper into this vicious cycle.

Until one day, she wakes up and realise the pressure tt she is carrying on her frail shoulders.......

Then, she starts craving for the annonymity she has right from the beginning.
It's a vicious cycle every serious blogger goes thru.

*sighs dramatically

Or maybe, it's juz me.

argh!!!!Shakes the goldfish bowl violently, reminiscent of the terror-girl in, "finding nemo".