A friend and I had a heated argument over the phone awhile ago. This was the reason. I took this excerpt from her blog, and she took this excerpt from another friend's blog. And well, we juz see things differently.

*shrugs

While her infidel husband drafted a divorce agreement as compensation, the only condition that she would agree upon, is for him to carry her out of this marriage, the way he carried her when they were married...

So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her,"It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment,"Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said,"Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said,"Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy." I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door.

I said to her,"Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead,"You got no fever."She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew." I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce my wife. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote,

"I'll carry you out every morning until we are old"

Are you touched by the man's gesture?

She wasn't touched. She was seriously pissed off. By the unfairness that women faced. By the double standards that was imposed.

"Had the role been reversed, would u think the woman sweet? Or cheap?" She asked.

Would I think her promiscuous?

Probably. But I think I would see her as confused.

I think people do get confused, especially when the initial chemistry fizzle out. Physical intimacy is juz as important as emotional connection to me.

Well, maybe I'm juz a touchy person
*shrugs

I mean, when two ppl r together for too long a time, this thing seeps into them and they start to take each other for granted. They begin to stop paying attention to the other party.

Because there's this assurance that they will always be there, there's no longer a need to give so much, to do so much.

In a sense, it's is juz like, over confidence. The insecurity goes away, and hence, the motivation for romance disappears as well.

They fall into this stage called unconscious dependency, they begin to see it as a routine. As mundane. It is only when they are finally faced with the dire situation that they wake up.

True, the double standards exist. I wouldn't be that impressed if it were the woman taking the wrong path, temporarily.

"The woman is stupid. Would u forgive someone who cheated on you?"She asked

That stumped me. I don't know, I really don't know.

But what I know is that I really admired what the woman did.

Is that stupidity?
I see it as courage. Can you imagine what she put on the line?

How high her stakes were?

How she was feeling inside?

As a woman, with the knowledge that the man you loved has touched other women, would you let him touch you?

I know I wouldn't.

I wouldn't even want to share the air that he breathes.

But she actually made him carry her. Carry her. For such a long distance. Can you imagine the hell she went thru? I refuse to believe that any woman can be that stupid.

Call me naive. Call me stupid. Call me an idealist.

But I sincerely believe that there must be something, deep down inside, there must be something that tells her that all this is worth it. The knowledge that all these pain is for a cause. That she risked it all.

So no, I do not think that she is stupid.

I think women are made of sterner stuff. We do not fall prey to these distractions.

Why do double standards exist?

That is why double standards exist. Because you know, and I know, and she knows, and he knows, and we know and they know and everybody knows that women are made of sterner stuff. And that is why we are so harsh to women who make the mistake of straying.

These rules, this stereotyping is not enforced on us by men.

How could you think that it is!!!!!!!How can you even believe that women are that meek to fall all over themselves to meet these expectations of men? To fit into these stereotypes?

Excuse me, u speak of unfairness.
U speak of biasness.
Of inequality.

Who is the one thinking lesser of women now?

This double standard is set up by women ourselves. We are harsh on these deformities. Yes i repeat, deformities. These flaws,especially when women are the ones having them, because, we are not supposed to.

Because, we are supposed to be better than that.

And that is the real inequality between men and women.

The men are just too stupid to get it : )