最近听了两位朋友的伤心事
让我忍不住替他们感到心痛。

人不都就是这样吗？
在被伤害之前都会毫不保留地用真心地去对待一个人。
所谓once bitten twice shy.

我可以理解为什么人会这样子。
可是若这样，
对后来的人公平吗？

话又说回来，
男人不就是犯贱。
好好的一个好女人放在面前，
偏偏就是连看都不看一眼。
眼里就偏偏只有心机女。

既然这世界是这个样子，
男人又有什么资格责怪女人呢？

Little things that made my day at the end of a usual long work week.

1) My mentor gave me a little box on Wednesday
with a post it stuck on (so office, post-it!) that says simply:
Thank you for working so hard.

6 simple words almost drove me to tears.

2) Seeing my girlfriends on Thur for lunch

Although I see them almost every weekend,
I can't help feeling that I've been spending less time with them
ever since the nightmare started on 16th August.

3) My big boss looked at me in surprise and said in the middle of a TC on Friday
"That's a really good question."

5 words, and I instantly stopped feeling stupid and inadequate.
To be honest, I've been having alot of self-doubt lately.
All these hours that I've been putting in, is it really because there's so much work to do?
Or am I just incompetent?
Sometimes I can't help feeling that the team could be better off
if they let me go and replaced me with someone with prior experience in the fund industry.

4) A call that left me in pleasant surprise.

It's been so long since the last time a person actually called to ensure that I'm safely home when I didn't return an sms. It's a nice change from the usual treatment I get from friends since everyone seems to think that I'm independant and strong enough to take care of myself.

And oh yes, how can I forget this?
5) The arrival of my scheming beauty masks from Taiwan just this morning.

老女人要保养! 保养！！
If there's something I learnt from inventory control from my uni life
that I'm applying diligently in my everyday post-grad life,
it's stock re-ordering point.
And mine is at 10 pieces,
to ensure that I'll never be faced with a shortage,
and where holding costs are kept to a minimum.

Alright, back to funds, funds and more funds.

It's almost been a month of late night camping in the office
and I foresee that things are not set to improve until the headcount gets replenished.
That said, I've gotta admit that I'm almost used to it already.

I've even got accustomed to communicating with the Frenglish speaking Luxembourg custodian.
I think my Singlish and his Frenglish has found a way to meet each other in the middle.

It's true you know,
what they say

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Having survived in the subsidiary of the worst local bank for the past month has definitely made me more resilient.

No way am I gonna sit quietly while the compliance bitch fires arrows at me anymore.
I catch them, light them up with a match, and return them with doubled the magnitude.

Yes, I've learnt.

I bloody well know that everything comes with a price,
including this seemingly endless slogging that I'm putting myself through.

Occasionally, I do wonder if the sacrifices I've made are worthwhile.
But when I think again,
noone ever knows at the point in time they made the sacrifices if they are worthwhile.
You'll only know when they are realised.
Unfortunately, life doesn't work like the futures in the Indian market,
where they are required to be realised daily against the NAV.
Most of the time,
life is like the other markets in the world where gains will only be realised once the position is closed.

I do not know if these things I've given up will eventually be for nothing.
I may very well lose all my capital in the short term.
But like funds, as long as you keep it in for the long term, you'll eventually gain.

I believe that as long as I'm willing to grit my teeth and hang in there,
even if I don't get the recognition in this current shithole,
I'll get my due rewards in time to come, from somewhere else.

Work and my pay sucks to the core right now.
But the exposure and things I pick up from this trying period,
they're priceless.