Due to a very bad miscommunication,
a friend of mine ended up waiting for me at the regular bus stop
while I happily made my way to school.

And I only realised tt he was waiting for me
at 8.45am

he, "wei.....where r u?"

me, "I'm 2 stops away from sch"

he, "Great.I'm just like 20 stops away"

!!!!!!

Can u imagine how bad I feel?
So I was feeling real bad.

REEEEEEAAAAALLLLL BAD.

But of cos,
u can't bloody well expect me to make my way back to find him,
can u?

So I was busy sms-ing,
apologising,
making empty promises to him while I headed to class when out of the corner of my eyes,
something caught my attention.

SOMETHING looked different today.

Mobile phone in hand,
sms stuck halfway,
I retreated a few steps,
and stared at the sight to my left. ...

OH MY GOD!!!DON"T DO STUPID THINGS, T-VIS!!!!

ok.....THAT, thank god, is not T-Vis.

That was a pic taken only after our morning lecture, after a friend of mine got so high with the bunch of us fooling around with the dustbin tt he had to take a pic.

I actually saw the other one.
The huge trash car with 2 pairs of feet sticking out.

And I deliberated for a long time before dropping the idea of crazily snapping pictures.
For the sake of my already in-the-drain reputation,
I decided to act cool,
just like the rest of the students,
and ignore the creative display.

There are some things that are better left undone if u don't want to spend the rest of ur life in school hiding ur head in the dustbin......

at least until u haf company.

We were analysing the finer points of a monopoly at the soya bean place near my place
on a beautiful, rainy saturday afternoon,
when a bundle of joy bounced in.

"che che~" she smiled at me.

Finally, my xiao mei mei returned.

I was the first to arrive at our agreed place,

so much for punctuality in guys nowadys.

and while waiting for the two guys,
I started chatting with this little girl.
I found out that she's starting primary 3 nxt year,
and what coincidence, at the primary sch I used to study.

And so we were chatting,
and I found out too,
to my immense pleasure,
like myself,
*beams proudly*
she has a voracious apetite for books!!!

So she said she will be going to the library below my block to borrow 8 books,
and asked me to wait for her return.

"then we can study together," she sweetly said.

sure thing!!

When the guys arrived,
I was happily sharing the piece of news with them.

About how lovely she was,
how adorable,
how untainted,
how innocent she was.

"ur imaginary friend ah?"

-_-! Fine.

So I maintained tt she was the sweetest pie on the face of the earth.
I commented that kids that age are the loveliest.
Cos they know enuf to hold a conversation,
yet not enuf to disguise their true feelings.
And, innocent enuf,
so u can tell them anything without fear that they will turn around and use the it against u.

Then she returned.

HAHAR!!

*smirks*

"I told u she is REAL, and she is the cutest, most innocent young thing u'll ever meet!!"

Sheepishly, they took in the sight of the little energetic bunny,
and tried to be nicer, sillier pple.

I mean, don't we all act silly in front of little kids?
Cos our oversized ego forbids us to believe that kids will be able to interact with the smarter us.

It was alrite, until she bounced over to our table.
She gestured me nearer and whispered LOUDLY in my ears

"Which one is ur boyfriend?"

The whole table stared at her in disbelief.

All hell broke lose man!!!

Having gotten the laughing maniac in me under control,
I very seriously asked her

"Do u know what a boyfriend is?"

She looked at me in annoyance,
as if I'm the biggest idiot on earth having asked such a stupid question.

"Of cos lah!!!Like for example, u like him, *points at one of the guys* and he likes u too, u'll be his girlfriend and he will be ur boyfriend loh!!!U don't know meh?"

"Oh!!!!!So have u got a boyfriend?"

She giggled and looked away, "No lah!!!"

*sighs*

Kids these days are precocious beyond their age.
And uni students these days
.
.
.
.
have too many excuses to not be studying when they are supposed to.

What happens when a company expands too fast?
Strapped with cash-flow problems and overlooks,
that's what.
And the end results?
Back to zero, or worst,
a negative.

Recently,
I've been feeling like a company that has executed its expansion policy too quickly,
too rashly.

Just the other day,
I found myself with time to spare.
Idle, I hooked myself back into cyberspace and checked out my links.

And I realised
just how distant I've become.

Subconsciously,
I knew that it had been a long long time since I met up with some ppl,
and for the first time in a long long while,
I had the very strong urge to just call them to hear their voice,

Of cos I did no such thing.

What? Did u think I was crazy?
It was an unearthly hour ok?

A tinge of regret,
as I read the entries on their blogs,
part of their lives that I no longer have a part in.

A tinge of melancholy,
as I felt our distance widen,
as I read their thoughts,
thoughts which used to be conveyed through face-to face conversations.

I distinctly remember a friend who once told me that she hates the phrase
"I feel like we are drifting apart"
and I distinctly remember myself telling her too,
within the dark confines of the cab,
that sometimes,
I wonder if the group of us came together by choice or by no-choice
because, however I look at it,
our differences are simply too glaring to ignore.
I also distinctly remember my wondering to myself
how the hell can she be so optimistic about everything?

Vividly, I also remember myself hating myself at that point in time,
when I felt my insecurities laid bare.

We are like a plate of rojak,
cuttlefish, you cha quay, tau pok, cucumbers, mang guang, and beansprouts.

The only thing that holds us together as complements is the peanut sauce.

It had also never slipped my mind that I missed her birthday,
and his birthday,
and his birthday too,
and god knows how many others' birthdays I have missed.

Yesterday a friend from SIM drove,
and we went to Ang Mo Kio for lunch.

I saw the NTUC that we got baking supplies from.
The huge container-like one that is still there,
though not for long anymore.

We ate at Pizza Hut.

I didn't even know Pizza Hut had a new branch beside KFC, near the library.
My impression of Pizza Hut had always been the one near Jubilee, or at Kovan.

Suddenly,
I missed the days when we always ordered too much food,
fought for the sweet and spicy drumlets,
and almost always,
ok,
is ALWAYS bullied the boys into finishing off the food.
Then wasting our time away creating noise pollution at KBOX.
I also remembered the time Ah Toh was subtlely manipulated into giving a treat at Pizza Hut
lol~

Sometimes,
I feel like an athlete running a never-ending marathon.
Running like that, feeling the wind in my face,
has never been more exciting, more exhilerating as new experiences enter my horizon.

Running like that has also never been more wrong.

True, I cover alot of ground as I kept going.
Then again,
I missed out on the rainbow overhead,
I missed out on the sight of a single morning glory blooming amidst the weeds,
I missed out on the fresh, yet stale smell of the after-rain.

I even forgot,
what that fresh-stale smell is really like.
I'm trying to remember.

And today,
I got a reminder of what that smell cld be like.
I caught up with someone from the past,
whom I have not met for...9 months?

He drives a van now.
Wonder what he did to his bike.
Supposedly still supplying me tissues for lunch,
but unfortunately
"just happened to run out of tissue"
He's still the same nice man that I used to know,
kind eyes.
a certain msn emoticon

I was truly glad that I had his company for lunch.

It isn't worth chasing the past,
if the past doesn't some catchin up with u.
But it is an outright ridiculous expectation for the past to catch up with u
if u had never slowed down and gave it a chance to in the first place.

A company shd never expand at a speed that its resources cannot feed.

They say curiosity killed the cat.....
I hope this one lives.

Just the other day I was in the canteen,
and somewhere, over the beautiful rainbow,
over the sea of greasy heads bobbing about,
I caught sight of my galpal's beautiful gleaming hair.

She was waving and gesturing wildly to me.

okkkkkkayyyyyyy~~~~~is she having a fit?

Naturally,
like a good fren shd,
I rushed over to her.
Her eyes were gleaming.

She bent and whispered excitedly into my ears

"That's him!!!!"

It took me a moment before her meaning sunk in.

u mean....that's HIM?

OH SHIT!

Excitedly,
I walked around the tables hoping to get a good look.

I only managed to catch his side view before he disappeared into the crowd.

Disappointed,
I looked back at my galpal.
She shrugged in helplessness.

Nevertheless!!!
A girl still has to eat.
And after being denied something that seemed like it is well within her grasp,
it is understandable tt she loses all apetite

:(

So I got myself a pot of soup that was strongly recommended
and then on my way back to my seat....

In chinese we call it
"huang tian bu fu you xin ren"
In english we call it
"perseverence pays off"
In singlish we call it
"wa kao!!! Heng gao lao sai!"

But whichever way u choose to call it,
lady luck was smiling at me.
And he came back.

This time,
he was walkin in my direction,
probably for utensils,
but who the hell cares for the reason anyway?

God can whisper to him to retrace his steps to look for a stray strand of hair on the floor
for all I care.

All that matters is tt it was a full frontal view,
of the person behind the brain tt has kept me highly amused.

**Yelp!!

And he looks like an adorable elf!!!

I was sorely tempted to walk right up to him and ask him to
pass a message to santa that he is quite a jerk,
making me promises of beautiful surprises and joy,
promises that he never kept.

Probably cos he's too old and senile.

*smiles

Somehow,
I thot he would look something lidat.

She says that he is intimidating.

I used to disagree,
when I used to read his thoughts and opinions on cyberspace
when they were available.

But then,
after that day,
I suppose I can't help but agree.

Like an elf perhaps.
Approachable facade, only to hide the real distance beyond.

Or,

Cold facade, only to disguise a humorous, uncommon mind,
capable of making the most neglected observation of the insignificantly significant.

I cld never figure out which is which.

Currently,
I'm entertainin the thought of stalkin him to discover the truth.

It cld be quite fun

:X

LOL!!

And that will be the day the cat exhausted its 9 lives.

Me---ow!!

I guess somehow,
there's this unspoken pact tt dictates a certain level of distance
That somehow,
interaction shd be restrained to cyberspace.
And I guess somehow,
that will be the way it will be kept.

Cos more often than not,
reality always falls short of expectations.

Cos expectations,

will always be beautiful,

always untainted,

always

perfect.

If I just keep quiet,
could u tell tt I'm listening?

If I just sit still,
would u notice tt I'm just a hair's breath away?

If I walked in ur direction,
would u even recognise me?

If I smile an overly bright smile,
could u tell the tears in my eyes?

and if I leave,
would u even know tt I'm gone?

It will never cross ur mind tt I'm never coming back,
cos to u,
I've never even been there in the first place.

*Fairyinagoldfishbowl is currently too tangled in the web of reality to indulge her private consciousness. Please pardon her absence for the time being *

note to paranoid readers: n please....I'm not dumped by some assholes or sth,
kindly don't read too much into the above.